Cont'd
Ryleigh's POV:
We've been staring at each other for the past twenty minutes. He's sitting at the opposite end of the long dinner table– his hands laced together resting perfectly before him.
His eyes are holding a mixture of emotions I can't comprehend.
If I'm to pray for anything right now it's going to be for God to turn the care off. Turn it off, because you wouldn't believe what's going on in the back of my mind right now.
*Sigh*
It's a series of questions...
'What did I do wrong?'
'Didn't I do it right?'
'I'm never going to be enough... for anybody... am I?'
'Why do I feel bad for him and not myself?'
At first it was my father...
Mommy would tell me to listen to him, just listen to him Ryleigh... do what he says to avoid any consequences.
Do what he says and I'll be the perfect daughter, to him. He wouldn't get angry and hit my mother if I just....
'DO WHAT HE SAYS'
He would give me more of his attention and play with my bears and I, if I just...
'DO WHAT HE SAYS'
Fast forward to high school. I get trapped in a relationship where I was trying to just...
'DO WHAT HE SAYS'
To you know? make him happy...
Be the supportive girlfriend, go to school early to see him before devotion, help him with his school work when you can, have lunch with him, go to his football matches and wear his jersey too, lead the cheers, join every extra curricular activity just so you can sneak away and watch him train in the evenings....
*She nuh done...*
..... Allow him to have sex with who he wants because 'I'm a virgin.....it's just sex and the girls don't mean anything....'
The same girls that would whisper when they saw us together...
The girls that would try to confront me for one reason or the next.
The girls that would send me screenshots of their 'meaningless convos' ...the same conversations showing him expressing things he wouldn't express to me.
*Ry'..... pull your hand away from your thigh*
I listen to my own mind for once... and pull my fingers away from digging at my thighs to place them on the table. My eyes move to Jordanne's chest.
His breathing is steady.... calm.
Funny... 'cause my chest is heavyyyy. Like smaddy stand up ina it right now.
Me head????? filled with thoughts of my three babies.... yes JJ is still a baby in my eyes.
Mi want dem grow up with separate parents?
Or .... do I want them to grow up with unhappy parents forcing a marriage?
The crossroads nah gimmi a path without potholes.
*...... I don't know Ry' me speechless*
Jordanne....
Jordanne Sheer....
