Empty- Girl Meets World

•thirty-eight

"Maybe I'm wrong."

•maya

Here I am sitting in a hospital staring at Lucas like he's about to die. He can't his eyes off me, because for the last hour I've been telling him that I wanted to talk to him about something.

"I know we haven't had time to talk since us kissing at the nightclub or when you told me you wouldn't break my heart, but I want to talk about those things now," I said.

Lucas grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together, "I meant everything I said to you."

"Lucas it's easy to love someone when they're happy. What's hard is loving them when they're crying on the bathroom floor at 2 am because everything came crashing down at once."

"Maya I'm not gonna hurt you. I want to be with you and I know you can't sit here and tell me that you don't feel the same way."

"Lucas we can't be together."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't just start a relationship with someone who's my best friend. As soon as something happened we'd stop talking and I'd be left alone. And I'd be alone again."

"This is because you feel empty inside?" Lucas asked.

The thing was with Lucas I wasn't left feeling empty. When he was around everything was better. I wasn't upset or thinking about anyone else.

"I've been alone pretty much my whole life and I can't really see that ever changing. Every guy leaves at one point and I always feel empty after they leave. Guys always come into my life and tell me that they love me and look where it gets me. I end in a hospital bed."

I'd like to think I'm a fairly strong person who can control when tears come pouring out of your eyes, but I guess that's not the case with Lucas.

"You've had both of your parents there for you your whole life so you don't know how it feels to be me. You don't know how it feels to have your mom and your dad both ripped away from me. And then even worse the man who took me in is slowly dying and won't be there for me anymore."

"Oh."

"At some point everyone finds a way to leave me and I feel at some point you'll be next."

Lucas wiped the tears away out of my eyes and it only made me cry even more.

"Please I need you here right now, as a friend," I said in between tears, "I need someone to pick me up when I fall down. I need someone to pick me up when I pass out. And I need someone there for me when I pass out or end up in the hospital."

"Okay."

"I just really don't want to lose you."

Lucas nodded his head, "I don't know what kind of guys you've been around, but I won't ever leave you just because we can't be together."

-

:( I'm sorry about this :(