Empty- Girl Meets World

•sixty-eight

"Cross my heart and hope for better days to come."

•maya

"Here this should help with the hangover," Cory said, handing me a glass of something.

I picked up the glass and took a sip of the hot drink. If I had to guess I would say that it's tea.

"Maya I want to talk to you about something," Cory added.

"I don't have a drinking problem I was just upset about Shawn and I just had a little to much to drink," I explained.

Cory shook his head, "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"Shawn."

Why him?

Why was the question I had been asking myself a lot lately.

Like why did I have to not have a father? Why did my mom die? Why does Shawn have cancer?

"Shawn is dying."

"But I think you should go talk to him."

"I can't believe that he's dying," I said, before tears came out of my eyes.

Lately it seems like I've been drinking and crying a lot.

"It's just he's time Maya," Cory replied, wiping my tear away from my eye.

"Why can't his time be in ten years? Or why couldn't it have been someone else."

My head was pounding and tears were falling out every second. I was a complete mess.

"Maya can't you tell that he's suffering from this. He doesn't want to leave you anymore than you want you don't want him to leave you. Shawn has been fighting his battle long enough and it's time he gets to have his life back. The cancer has taken over his life and he is just miserable."

Now I felt bad for wanting him to say with me.

All this time I only saw myself. I never took time to understand how he was feeling.

"I feel like the worst person ever," I cried.

Cory pulled me into hug.

"You are not the worst person ever. Don't blame yourself for wanting him to stay, because I wanted him to stay as well. It just took a lot of talking with Shawn to understand how he felt about his cancer."

"How do you always have the answer to everything?" I asked.

"It may seem like I know everything, but I don't."

I laughed, "So what now?"

"You should take a nap and then we can continue this conversation later."

-

After I took a short nap things started to turn the right way around for me.

Cory drove me over to the hospital and I went upstairs to see Shawn.

As soon as I ran through the door I hugged him as tight as I could without squeezing him to death. When I pulled away he gave me a smile, but it was a genuine smile.

"I'm sorry that I never realised how much you were suffering," I told him.

Shawn took my hand, "You have nothing to be sorry about. I never expected you to understand, because you haven't had cancer before."

"I should have just asked you how you were feeling instead of asking you to fight."

"I put up as much of a fight as I could."

"And I'm glad that you did, because I got to spend as much time with you as I could."

-

Shawn and I stayed in his room sharing memories together from years ago for a couple hours.

I felt guilty about what happened yesterday and I really just wanted to tell him what happened.

"Yesterday everyone left me alone at the hotel while they were visiting you and I got drunk," I blurted out to Shawn.

"Maya you shouldn't be drinking alone," Shawn said.

"I texted Josh."

"What did you say?"

"I just told him that I was alone and he asked if I wanted him to keep texting me until someone got to the hotel."

"That josh," Shawn smiled.

"He reminds me a lot of you."

"Do you still hate him?"

"No. I'm actually thinking about visiting him and seeing if we can be friends again."

"Why?"

"He really helped me get through your cancer at the beginning and I think he could really help me now too."

"And what about you and Lucas?"

"We're great."

-

Just to be clear again you don't need to worry about a Lucas, Josh, and Maya love triangle.