Author: @bloodbrothers1864
Chapters: 5 chapters
Genre: Fanfiction, Vampires/ Supernatural
Specific: Anything
Cover-
I have to say that I really love your new cover. It suits the story very well as it mostly centres around Caroline.
Blurb-
You kept the summary short where we could still get the gist of the story without giving away too much.
Grammar/Punctuation-
Your grammar was perfect. The tenses were great all the way through.
Your use of visual imagery is great, and you give very detailed descriptions.
"The stench of iron hit Stefan like a freight train," is a lovely metaphor when talking about his bloodlust.
Character Development-
You lead us straight into the action within the first paragraph of the first chapter as Stefan rushes to see Caroline. This sets up the story well and hooks the readers.
"Her death was his fault." This already gives us an insight into what has happened. We know Caroline is dead and Stefan somehow played a part in it.
The dialogues in the first chapters are believable between Stefan and Caroline.
The way you introduce small details about each character is lovely. You show Stefan is affectionate towards Caroline as he feels a range of emotions while he believes he caused her death. We later come to understand that Katherine killed Caroline to get back at Stefan.
"Human life was no more significant to Katherine than that of an insect." In as little words, she basically doesn't care as long as she hurts Stefan in some way for rejecting her. Nobody should reject Katherine, or they live to regret it.
The pacing is neither fast nor slow, which is perfect. It's a good pace as you slowly introduce characters and build up their character profile.
We can already see that Stefan appears to be Caroline's rock as he supports her through the transition.
You do a good job when describing Caroline and Damon. I can picture their dialogues very well with the use of their individual idioms, but you still manage to make them your own.
Overall Enjoyment-
I love your book. I don't normally like to read Fanfiction because I tend to zone out, and I automatically start to imagine the tv series, but I became hooked on your book. It's also an open fanfiction, so it doesn't matter if readers haven't followed the series.
Thank you for letting me review your book. Please check "A Future Without Fear" if you've got time.