Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Unstoppable

Username: ridhikamini

Genre: Action, Fiction 

Chapters: 5 chapters (including Prologue)

Specific:  N/A 

Book 

Cover - 

The cover isn't bad. It relates to the genre and to the chapters I've read so far.

Blurb - 

The blurb is okay. However, I do think it could be improved. A suggestion would be to add the protagonist's name so the reader has some information about the main character of the story they're about to read. All they know is that she is a RAW agent. 

I would also introduce key aspects to make the blurb more interesting and to hook the reader. For example, you can add that her husband recently died in an attack or that she is family-orientated as she seems to put her family first. Then this line will make sense and add more to her character as we know she will do anything to save her daughter, "Will she be able to save her family? Or sacrifice her life for it?" 

Grammar - 

(Chapter Three) 

* I left inline comments about the switching tenses. 

Punctuation - 

(Chapter One) 

The commas need to be inside the quotation marks and some need to be removed.

Your examples...

"Do we know who they were?", asked Sun." 

"...they were sent by the Indian government", answered Jupiter."

"Anything at all??!!", screamed Mars angrily." 

Suggestions may be...

"Do we know who they were?" asked Sun."

"...they were sent by the Indian government," answered Jupiter." 

"Anything at all?!" screamed Mars angrily." (you don't need a comma after the ?! and you don't need so many question marks/exclamation marks. One is enough)

Note - Remember that full stops and commas go within the speech marks and not after. 

Character development/ plot - 

(Prologue) 

The only major thing I can critique is you mostly tell rather than show. A prologue is vital because it's the backbone of how your story will proceed. For example, it sets the genre, the pace, the tone and the premise of the story. Because this is thriller/ action, you would assume there would be fighting, action, some drama, but there wasn't anything. 

The main character, Ria, narrates the story of how she lost her husband in battle from fighting terrorists. This would be okay if all the information wasn't telling and in the prologue, but you miss opportunities to make this more exciting. For example, her husband died five months ago, so the prologue is re-telling what happened. Perhaps you can start the prologue by actually having the day he died or putting Ria into the action. Put the main characters and us, the readers, into the action and watch everything unfold in real time. Depending on your style and maturity rating, you could make it gory and describe the action, since it's action themed and ISIS related. (Totally off-topic, but it's like having a vampire book without blood if you get my drift).