Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

The Voyage at Heart

Author: @Niobestar

Chapters: 7 chapters (includes prologue) 

Genre: Action/Adventure

Specific: Plot & characters

Cover-

Your cover is okay. There isn't anything majorly wrong with it. From afar, it's not so easy to see the title because it's in the upper left side corner. I use my phone mostly, and some mobile users won't be attracted to the title straight away. A suggestion would be to make it more central and a little bigger. This is the main thing attracting the readers to read your book from all the others. The colour and font are quite fitting for the genre. I even loved that you put a skeleton's head in the other corner.

Blurb-

I noticed that you spelt a few words wrong. No worries. They are easy to correct.

Example-

"Everyone could hear a dark suductive voice chant softly,"

Suggestion...

suductive should be spelt as seductive.

"Everyone could hear a dark seductive voice chant softly,"

✿

Your example...

"the voice song."

Somehow this sentence didn't feel right when I read it. It doesn't slip off the tongue as it should.

A suggestion here could be to change it to "the voice sang."

The reason for this is because you are writing in the past tense, so sometimes we have to change certain words to fit the tenses.

A good example I can think of is "see" and "saw."

✿

"His dark brown shoulder length hair was tied down by his red head scarf complimenting his gold loop earring,"

This is a nice detailed sentence, but you use rather a lot of adjectives where they don't really add anything to the sentence. They only tell us the colour of the objects, but nothing else.

A lot of professional writers tell us to "kill our adjectives" because they don't drive our sentences forward. A tip would be to minimise the "brown shoulder length hair" and describe it a little more in-depth.

My suggestion would be...

"His light bronze wavy hair was tied with a headscarf, a sense of edginess to him as he wore a small gold hoop earring."

(Bad example, but I wanted to point out that from my example, we understand that his hair is a light shade of brown since brown has multiple shades. We also learn a sense of his style from wearing a gold hoop earring.)

So altogether, the sentence would look like this-

"His light bronze wavy hair was tied with a headscarf, a sense of edginess to him as he wore a small gold hoop earring, proudly wearing his red velvet waistcoat among his black breeches. His linen shirt opened, exposing his chiseled chest, showing off a freshly healed bullet wound."

✿

I noticed a few missing commas within the last paragraph of your blurb. I will try to go through them all.