Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Rain of Winter

Author: @BallerinaBibliophile

Chapters: 5 chapters

Genre: Mystery/Crime

Specific: Character development

Book

Cover-

The cover is simplistic, and I get the sense that the characters are Rose and Blake on the front.

It relates to the story so far.

Blurb-

I quite like your blurb, but I would suggest removing the "Further detail" part. You can have two paragraphs instead of having the divider in the middle.

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

You sometimes repeat words in the same sentence that can make the readers feel like you're writing the same thing twice.

Your example...

"Emma got paranoid and picked up pace, now at a jogging pace."

Here, you're stating the same thing twice as picking up pace can indicate jogging as it's not a walk, nor a run.

You do the same thing with this following example.

"Steps, heavy steps in the snow follow behind her."

I don't know if you're trying to do the "Bond, James Bond" for added effect, but it doesn't add any description to the scene that you're trying to set.

My suggestion would be this...

"Emma was paranoid and quickened her pace as she sensed heavy steps crunching through the snow behind her."

✿

You do quite well sticking to the past tense, but in this following example, you switch to the present.

Your example...

"Emma stops, catching her breath and enters through the back door."

A suggestion would be...

"Emma stopped, catching her breath and entered through the back door."

This is another example of switching tenses.

"Her mother turns back around and continues washing the dishes."

This should be...

"Her mother turned around and continued washing the dishes."

Another example...

"Turns out someone was following me." She explains. Her mother set down a plate of cheese and pretzels, then getting a glass of water."

A suggestion here would be...

"Turns out someone was following me," she explained. Her mother set down a plate of cheese and pretzels, and then fetched a glass of water."