Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Defying Alpha

Author: @CourtMyers

Chapters: 10 chapters

Genre: Werewolf

Specific: I focused more on character development, plot and enjoyment as there were similar mistakes regarding grammar/punctuation as the previous book, which I'm sure you're aware of.

Cover-

I like your cover. It's very mysterious and simple, which is the look I think you were going for.

Blurb-

I liked your blurb too. You have a good balance between letting the readers know what the book entails, but you also keep them guessing.

The only error I could find was to join these two sentences together to make it flow better.

This is my suggestion...

"When she finds her mate at her 18th birthday party, life is about to get a whole lot more interesting as secrets start to unfold."

Other than that, great job!

Character Development-

Your story is easy to follow so far. Normally with werewolf stories, I get lost because I don't know the hierarchy within packs. I'm more of a vampire kinda girl. I think that is because you didn't overcrowd your first chapter with lots of information, which helps. I got to understand the characters a bit more.

I get the hint that your main character has a crush on Gavin, and he possibly likes her too, but the Alpha, Ryker stands in the way.

In chapter three, we get to see her relationship with her best friend, Alex. I love how you show how much their relationship means to each other and the nicknames that they share. I'm sure most girls can relate to that at some point. I know I can.

I also think that the concept of having a special school for Alpha's and wolf members is a cool concept.

I don't understand why everybody hates Amelia that much. I understand why Ashley and her crew dislike her, maybe even Gavin, but why would he beat up Amelia just because the Alpha ordered him. Is the Alpha trying to teach her a lesson of obedience because she is going to be a member of the pack?

I would include somewhere, maybe in your blurb or at the top of chapter five that it is mature rated. There are some sexual scenes that not everybody wants to read. I'm fine with it, but I would indicate somewhere that your book is leaning towards Erotica, so you don't get young readers or make people feel uncomfortable.

In chapter Six, Amelia and Gavin share a passionate kiss, which is normal, but in this situation, it seems a little odd. She literally bumps into him and then sucks his face off. He talks to the Alpha on the phone, ignoring her. It seems like there is sexual tension between the two, not sure if that is a wolf thing, but maybe you could flesh this section out a little. Add more depth and maybe her inner thoughts. I just found it weird that she was thinking about food and all of a sudden, she bumps into him and they kiss considering what he did to her.

I love the ritual and how you described everything that is going on. Again, I got a little confused in Chapter Nine. The same thing happens. It's like she has two different personalities at the same time because one minute she knows not to defy the Alpha because he can make her life a living hell, so why does she deliberately refuse to shift back to human form when he demands her too? Then she shifts, and they both kiss and make out.

I feel like she is confused between having feelings for Gavin and the Alpha. She sleeps with the Alpha but knows that he is mean and horrible to her. I don't understand her logic. Maybe inner thoughts can help explain. Does she have an attraction towards him that she simply can't resist him? Is it the bad-boy vibe that attracts her? Power? Does he like someone weak and submissive? 

Amelia and Ryker are mated, but I feel like that happened too quickly. I wanted to see how she would do on her own within the pack without a mate first, and then gradually build up the sexual tension. 

Overall Enjoyment-

I now understand where the title comes into play. I actually like this story more than "Haunted Kiss," maybe because it's similar to the genres I love to read in my spare time.

I do still feel like you should edit because I'm sure you will get more readers and votes. A lot drop out because bad spelling/ errors actually repel readers away.

Your book is good, and I enjoyed reading it. You should have more confidence and I know it's your first book, but don't put it down. Instead, focus on trying to fix it and make it better.

If you have any questions, just let me know.

Feel free to not take my suggestions, but if you do, I hope you find them useful.

Thank you for letting me review your book. Please check "Defying Alpha" if you've got time.