Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Leonardo

Author: @Yummychocochick

Chapters: 10 chapters (I know you requested all of them, but I can't review all of them due to my hectic schedule)

Genre: Werewolf

Specific: Everything

Cover-

I love the cover. I noticed you had a few previous ones, but this one is the best.

Blurb-

I love the dialogue you use as a 'sneak peek' as to what to expect.

Your example...

"Created by nature herself and feared by everyone, Leonardo was a demon, a werewolf and a wizard."

Did you mean himself instead of "herself" since you're talking about Leonardo?

Grammar-

(prologue)

I would consider rewording this part of the dialogue.

Your example...

"I want this negotiation to stay as it is and not change into a fight."

My suggestion would be...

"I want this negotiation to work and not turn into a fight."

✿

Your example...

"Leonardo took Amanda's palm in his and started walking with a cold, straight face."

I feel like "cold" isn't the right word for this context. It's a weak adjective because you're not implying that his face is cold to touch, but that his facial expression is deadpan.

A few examples of other choices of words...

"icy-cold stare..."

"impassive face..."

A suggestion could be...

"Leonardo grabbed Amanda's hand and started walking briskly with an impassive facial expression."

(Not the best suggestion, but I hope you get the gist of what I'm trying to say anyway) 

(Chapter One)

There are a few instances where you can possibly remove filler words or words that you don't actually need.

Your examples...

"I really felt sick there."

"...when I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek."

"His right hand went to touch my lower back."

My suggestions would be...

"I felt sick there." (you can add some more descriptions here)

"...when a sharp pain erupted across my left cheek."

"His right hand touched my lower back."

(Chapter Two)

Your example...

"I let my tears lose."

Again, I would reword this and add emotion.