Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

The Chosen

Author: @Evangeline273

Chapters: 7 chapters

Genre: Fantasy/ Romance

Specific:None

Cover-

Your cover isn't bad, but I imagined it to be more fantasy-like. Something to suggest that she is half fairy perhaps.

The title can also be made slightly bigger and made so that it is more visible against the background image.

People often click on someone's book because of their cover. It's good to have a title that will be easy to read and a background image that tells the reader what the story is about before they read the blurb.

In other words, does the image relate to the story in some way?

Blurb-

I actually can't find anything wrong with your blurb. It's a good length. You give some information to attract the reader, but you don't overdo it.

Good job.

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

Be careful with the tenses. You start writing in the past tense, but then swap to present.

Your example...

"Sluggishly walking to the bathroom..."

My suggestion...

"Sluggishly, I walked to the bathroom..."

Your example...

"...grudgingly drag myself out of bed..."

This should be...

"...grudgingly I dragged myself out of bed..."

Or "I grudgingly dragged myself out of bed..."

                                                                    ✿

This sentence can seem a little confusing.

"I thought about what the notification could be for."

You just need to reword it to make it sound clearer.

Here is my suggestion...

"I wondered who the notification could be from."

                                                                         ✿

You tend to do a lot of telling rather than showing.

Your example...

"I have felt fatigued from deprived sleep..."

Here you could describe how tiredness has affected her appearance. Has she got dark circles under her eyes? Does she yawn? All these are showings.

My suggestion...

"I suppressed a yawn as the tiredness caught up with me."

(You don't have to use this example, but something similar to show the effects and to show how she is tired rather than saying she felt fatigued.)

(Chapter Two)

Your example...

"Adam mumbles under his breath..."