Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

DOWNWORLD BOND - SIMON LEWIS

* This review may contain spoilers * 

Username: -FlowerLion 

Genre: Fanfiction 

Chapters: 5 Chapters 

Specific: N/A 

Book 

Cover - 

The cover that you have is okay, but if I'm being honest, I liked some of the previous covers you had. The title blends in with the background probably because it's the same colour, so it doesn't stand out. It's also best to include your name, username or pen name on the cover. 

Blurb -

The blurb is great. No faults here. 

Grammar - 

I didn't notice any major issues regarding tenses; however, I would advise to re-check to make sure. 

Punctuation - 

(Chapter One) 

When using a dialogue tag, there should be a comma separating the dialogue from the tag. 

Your examples...

"I'll be right back with those." She says." 

"No problem." She says." 

Some suggestions could be...

"I'll be right back with those," she says." 

"No problem," she says." 

🌸

And when dialogue comes after the sentence, the comma should be before the dialogue. 

Your examples...

"As she's almost there, the young man calls her again "oh um, miss?"" 

"She turns back around and faces him "yes?"" 

Some suggestions are...

"As she's almost there, the young man calls her again, "Oh um, Miss?""

"She turns back around and faces him, "Yes?"" 

(Chapter Four) 

Here are some more examples where you need a comma and a capital letter. 

Your examples...

"It's quiet between the three of them until her dad starts to say something "oh Sarah, honey." 

"Love you too sweetie." Her dad says back." 

"She chuckles a little with a slight smile "wow. I've never thought I'd see you again." 

Some suggestions would be...

"It's quiet between the three of them until her dad starts to say something, "Oh Sarah, honey." 

"Love you too, sweetie," her dad says back." 

"She chuckles a little with a slight smile. "Wow. I never thought I'd see you again."