Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Sakura Eyes

                                                                 (Bookworms community Reviews)

Author: @naeomiiii

Chapters: 3 chapters

Genre: Fantasy

Specific: If the book is interesting enough

Cover-

I know you recently got a new cover and I love it, it's better than your old one.

Blurb-

This must be the first time where I can't find anything to fault about your blurb.

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

Your example...

"...he had bargained down the price before an image of a live, breathing demon coming at me with a knife..."

I would swap "coming" with "came" to stay in the past tense.

My suggestion...

"...he had bargained down the price before an image of a live, breathing demon came at me with a knife..."

(Chapter Two)

Your example...

"Mom came prepared and handed me a blue dark dress..."

This seems awkward and I noticed other people commenting on it too.

My suggestions...

"...dark blue dress..."

or

"...navy-blue dress..." (navy just means dark blue)

✿

You do a lot of telling when It comes to their appearance. I've read quite a fair share of books that tick off the character's appearance when they look in the mirror.

Trust me, I know how hard showing vs telling is when it comes to your character's appearance.

Your example...

"I sighed as I glanced closer at my shoulder-length light brown hair and dark amber eyes."

You do a small part of showing in this example below, which can be combined with your example above.

Your example...

"I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and glanced at my delicate nose and almond eyes."

My suggestion...

"I tucked a strand of my chestnut hair behind my ear, the rest dropping to my shoulders."

(I would consider removing the details about the eyes at the moment. You can try to add them during the chapter or throughout the story. You have two paragraphs on their appearance, which doesn't seem relevant to be shown just yet)

✿

Your example...

"...with short hair bristles."

You can reword this, making it clearer.

My suggestion...