Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Traveling Salesman: Astronomgonist

Author: @Amaboo

Chapters: 10 chapters (started on chapter Eleven)

Genre: Thriller/Mystery

Specific: Anything

Cover-

I think the cover looks great for your chosen genre. I do feel like it could be a bit risky just having a minimal colour scheme, the blue and the black. This makes the cover seem dark and unclear, but I can also understand why you chose the colours. It gives off an eerie mysterious vibe that is perfect for the genre.

Blurb-

The blurb sounds interesting, and it's simple. You hit all the right notes.

"a separate universe several people's lives collide,"

I think you missed out "where" which gives a better read.

"a separate universe where several people's lives collide,"

Grammar-

(chapter eleven)

He imagined his face in the reflection of his in the window."

I didn't know if you meant he saw his friend's face reflected in the window or he saw his own face, but his friend's face emerged.

This suggestion could be a clearer way of explaining.

"He imagined the reflection of his face in the window."

A suggestion could be to add dialogue tags each time somebody new say's something. Since it's written in 3rd person, it can be hard to understand and decipher who is speaking and saying what.

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This part of the sentence doesn't quite make sense. (chapter twelve)

"but at times the twice crazy wins out."

A suggestion could be...

"but at times the crazy part comes out."

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(Chapter Nineteen)

This isn't a major point, but it's something to note, and maybe it could be useful.

I feel like there are too many adjectives in this sentence.

"Maxwell-Shina tucked her thick wavy blonde-greyish-green hair behind her long pointy ears."

The adjectives here are:

"wavy"

"greyish"

"thick"

"pointy"

"long"

"green"

(Please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm only human)

Having too many adjectives can make your sentences seem wordy. A tip would be to just pick a few since long and pointy are both similar, just use one.

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My suggestion would be...

"Maxwell-Shina tucked her thick blonde-greyish hair behind her pointy ears."

Again, it's totally up to you.