Haunted Kiss

90 11 10
                                    

(Previously named Shadowkissed)

Author: @CourtMyers

Chapters: 10 chapters

Genre: Paranormal/ Mystery

Specific: None

Cover-

I love your cover. It's appealing with the grey background and the woman with the red petals trailing off her. If I had to make suggestions on how to make your cover better, it would be to remove the red writing along the side or to make it bolder. Nobody can read it, and I feel like it doesn't do anything for the cover.

I also would suggest removing the stickers and put them in a dedicated chapter because it overcrowds the cover. This is just a personal preference. I know some people don't like to stick them in chapters.

Blurb-

There are a few miss spellings.

Your example...

"Death has a sick since of humor."

This should be...

"Death has a sick sense of humor."

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The first part of this sentence seems incomplete.

"When death welcomes you with open arms, only for life to take you back."

A suggestion could be...

"What happens when death welcomes you with open arms, only for life to take you back?"

Since you changed the title, you will have to replace the old title in this sentence to keep it consistent.

"Shadow kissed is about a girl named Rose Desira Violance."

A suggestion would be to join this sentence together with the following one to minimize short sentences. A tip is to have a good balance of sentence structure (long and short sentences)

It could look like this...

"Hunted kiss is about a girl named Rose Desira Violance, who died and was brought back to life."

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There is a missing comma which should be placed before the dialogue tag,

"Not quite." He whispered."

It should look like this...

"Not quite," he whispered."

Apart from that, your blurb looks okay.


Grammar-

(Chapter One)

You start the first paragraph in the past tense. "My mother shouted from the kitchen, as I grabbed the keys to my jeep."

Shouted and grabbed are the past. I don't think the comma is necessary in this sentence as "as" is a binding word (conjunction) to join the words together.

In the next sentence, you skip to the present tense.

"My tone is of annoyance, for the fact she says that every time I leave the house."

"is" is present.

My suggestion for the sentence would be this...

"Yes, Mom," I said, a hint of annoyance in my tone. Every time I left the house, she said the same thing."

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