Gentlemen Only

100 9 8
                                    

                       (Bookworms Community Reviews)

Author: @user17450679

Chapters: 3 chapters

Genre: Chick Lit/ Romance

Specific: Everything

Cover-

I like that your cover relates to the title "Gentlemen only" because there is a gentleman on the front, but because you mention two men in the blurb, maybe it would be fitting to add two on the cover instead of one since she is between the two.

Blurb-

I think this is more preference because I see people doing it both ways, but I like to use a lower "s" in a dialogue tag.

Your example...

"Which one?" She stammered, forcing courage that she clearly didn't feel."


My suggestion would be...

"Which one?" she stammered, forcing courage that she clearly didn't feel."


Because the dialogue tag is related to the voice, there should be a comma and not a full stop.

Your example...

"Both." Jet prompted, minty breath caressing her lips, mere inches away."


My suggestion would be...

"Both," Jet prompted, minty breath caressing her lips, mere inches away."

I can't find anything to fault with your blurb. It's well-written with nice and varied sentence structures.


Grammar- N/A


Punctuation-

(Chapter One)

Your example...

"She hung her head, ashamed aware the entire table of fifth graders were ogling her like a zoo animal."

I felt there needs to be a comma inserted between "ashamed" and "aware" or to change the sentence.


My suggestion would be...

"She hung her head, ashamed, aware the entire table of fifth-graders were ogling her like a zoo animal."

Or

"She hung her head in shame, aware the entire table of fifth-graders were ogling her like a zoo animal."


Your example...

"You're so ugly." She continued viciously."


My suggestion would be...

"You're so ugly," she continued viciously."


(Chapter Two)

Dialogue tags- when it's to do with voice there should be a comma used. When it's an action, a full stop should be used.

Your example...

"No." She mumbled bashfully..."


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