Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Bromeliad's Sting

Author: @bookish_sparrow_123

Chapters: I read 3 chapters. I know you requested 7 and I will explain why in the overall enjoyment section.

Genre: Sci-fi Dystopian

Specific: N/A

Book

Cover-

I don't really understand the cover, like from what I've read so far, it doesn't fit the plot. I wouldn't think that the cover fits the genre.

Blurb-

Your blurb is okay, and I'm sure it would entice some Sci-fi lovers. I'm intrigued to know why there isn't a mention of Quinn as she is the main character.

Your example...

"If there was a way out of this century's worth of mess, we would have found it by now."

You're writing in the third person because it's a blurb, so I would suggest changing "we" to "they."

I would also change the "was" to "is" because a blurb should be written in the present tense, whether you're writing both tenses in the story.

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

Be careful with using certain words twice in one sentence.

Your example...

"I use the rope I have that I have roped around the beam..."

Hopefully, you can see the issue here. You use "I have" and "rope" twice in a different verb form.

A suggestion here would be...

"I used the rope and wrapped it around the beam..."

Since you're using both tenses you can change "used" to "use."

Punctuation-

(Prologue)

Remember to use commas when separating the speech from the tags.

Your example...

"Your generosity precedes you." He simply said."

A suggestion could be...

"Your generosity precedes you," he simply said."

Character Development/ plot –

(Prologue)

You mix up the tenses throughout the chapter, which makes me think you did this intentionally, but I'm not sure. It was a little distracting because it's not consistent.

I also think that your prologue isn't needed and could be Chapter one instead. This is because a prologue should be interesting with a hook outlining your plot, making the readers want to continue. The first chapter, Prologue or otherwise, is the most important chapter which can make or break your story.

Some parts could be described more with the characters that seemed a little abrupt. I was surprised to find out that the protagonist is a female because up until the "sweetheart," I thought it was a male protagonist through the actions and narration.

(Chapter One)

Quinn, I think that's her name, is like a ninja warrior with thief skills. At the moment, I don't find her warming as a character, rather the opposite. She doesn't seem to be the type to make friends easily and prefers to work on her own accord.

I don't really have a clue what's going on, and that's mainly because I don't usually read Sci-fi in general.

(Chapter Two)

You do well to describe the actions going on throughout this chapter.

Again, it was hard to understand what was going on. This doesn't mean that your story isn't good because, with the right reader, they will be immersed in your writing.

Overall enjoyment-

It didn't understand the plot or what was going on, so I felt like it was unfair to continue. I can't talk about the plot much because of my poor understanding, but I can offer some advice.

My suggestions would be to stick to one tense. You mix first-person present and first-person past together, and as another reviewer said, it's something that isn't common. It can be jarring because it's from two different viewpoints and that's also why I can find myself in the story.

Another suggestion would be to either remove the Prologue because it doesn't work as one, mainly because it's too long and reveals too much information. It works better as the main chapter. Either way, you're the author, so it's completely up to you with how you construct your story.

I wish you the best of luck with your writing journey.

If you have any questions, just let me know.

Feel free not to take my suggestions, but if you do, I hope you find them useful.

Thank you for letting me review your book. Please check "Bromeliad's Sting" if you've got time.