Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Slay All Snakes

Author: @Silenesea6

Chapters: 10 chapters

Genre: Chicklit

Specific: Grammar errors and punctuation

Book

✿

Cover -

I wondered where the title came into play, and you explain it during your Author's note. It's an interesting concept about describing those betrayers as snakes.

I would recommend anybody to read this before they start reading as it lays down the foundations about the book.

Your cover is pretty cool and colourful, and I can see how it fits in with the title.

Blurb -

The blurb is okay. You have the right amount of information. You reveal the protagonist and the conflict.

The blurb suits your storytelling style of narration throughout the book.

Grammar -

(Chapter One)

You add spaces in between words that separate the word from the sentence.

I've commented in your story with an example.

Only go onto a new sentence when it's the start of a new paragraph or subject.

It wouldn't make sense to say this (I've made this example as a demonstration)-

"Mary went to the market and

bought fruit for

her grandson."

It would be...

"Mary went to the market and bought fruit for her grandson."

You do this several times in the first half of the chapter, but it's a minor error that can easily be fixed. It also might be a typing error if you write on your phone.

(Chapter Two)

I won't say much about the switching tenses because I'm confused about what tense you want to use. You use past and present, and I think that is because of your narration style.

Your examples...

"Marilyn had to take full advantage of her courage and had to go..." (past tense).

"When our Marilyn came out of her fairy tale world and arrived in the land of Mudland, she didn't immediately find her enemy" (past tense, plus you need full stop at the end).

"To be honest, there have always been, it's just that now they have internet too, but let's move on, we're just at the beginning." (present tense with too many commas used unnecessarily).

You have to pick a tense and try to stick with it, no matter the narration style. So, I think that the present tense would be more appropriate.

(Chapter Three)

The only thing I think you should consider would be this sentence...

"A cruel baby snake is not born by chance, its cruelty is always inherited from its mother, in fact a rotten blood generates more rotten blood."