Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Death in the Woods

                                                                   (Bookworms Review Community) 

Author: arthurajiri

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Chapters: 5 chapters

Cover-

Your cover suits the title and genre. The red font could suggest blood and death. The only thing I would say is I couldn't read the small red lettering at the bottom. I also couldn't read your name, which is important.

Blurb-

I like that you started your blurb with a rhetorical question.

Your blurb is short but sweet, which hits all the right notes.

The one thing I would suggest is to remove the dialogue that you put in the blurb. This is like a spoiler for the readers, and they will come to that particular dialogue later in the chapter.

I can see that you want to create a mysterious vibe. You do this already with this particular line, "you're next sweetheart," which sets up the book nicely.

                                                                                     ✿

I noticed a few punctuation errors within the blurb.

Your example.

"Jacob Madison asked her to go on a date with him of which she refused only to wake up to the news of him been found dead in the woods the next day with a text stating, "you're next sweetheart"

There should be a comma after "refused" to split the clauses otherwise this will be a run-on sentence. I would suggest putting a comma before "sweetheart" as it's a form of endearment or it's addressing someone in particular.

Here is my suggestion.

"Jacob Madison asked her to go on a date with him of which she refused, only to wake up to the news of him found dead in the woods the next day with a text stating, "you're next, sweetheart."

Grammar-

Prologue

"The ground was sticky as it rained, this, impending her movements."

I would consider changing the word "impending" as it suggests present tense and so far, you write in the past tense.

A suggestion could be this...

"The ground was sticky as it rained. This impeded her movements."

The word "impeded" is the same but is the past participle.

Another suggestion could be this if you wanted to keep the word.

"The ground was sticky as it rained, impending her movements."

                                                                                         ✿

I would consider removing this sentence "She brought her phone out of her pocket," because in the sentence before, you say, "As she ran, she tried calling for help on her cellphone."

This suggests that she already has her phone in her hands as she was running so, "She brought her phone out of her pocket," isn't necessary.

A suggestion could be...