Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Just Stay For Me

(I'm sorry for the long wait for the review. I've been so busy lately)

(Bookworms Community Reviews)

Author: @thatdrowningfish

Chapters: 3 chapters

Genre: General Fiction/ Teen Fiction

Specific: Everything

Cover-

The cover is okay, but I was trying to work out if that is supposed to be Ella or Kayla, or nobody in particular.

I would have pictured a cover with two girls on the front somehow showing their closeness, or their distance as they are ripped apart from each other.

Of course, this is just my opinion, but I couldn't see the relevance.

However, I love the title because I can see the relevance and how it fits with the story.

Blurb-

I found the blurb great and interesting. It doesn't give too much away but is still able to hook the reader.

The quoted extract that you added at the start is a great touch and sums up the story in one sentence.

I couldn't find anything more to add here.

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

I would be careful about using the same word twice in one sentence. Sometimes we aren't aware we do this until somebody points it out. I do it a lot too.

Your example...

"I looked up and faced my twin, whose auburn hair glowed in the sunlight and whose brown eyes squeezed in a smile."

You could perhaps try...

"I looked up and faced my twin, admiring her auburn hair glowing in the sunlight as she squeezed her brown eyes into a smile."

✿

This is me being picky, but when you use 'mom' as a noun, it should be capitalised.

If there is an article in front 'my mom' then there shouldn't be a capital.

Your examples...

"Our front door swung open, and mom ran out,"

"Kayla ran up the slope that lead to our front doors and snatched the toothbrush from mom."

In these instances, it should be capitalised.

My suggestions would be...

"Our front door swung open, and Mom ran out,"

"Kayla ran up the slope that lead to our front door and snatched the toothbrush from Mom."

✿

A suggestion could be to rewrite this sentence, so most of it is in the past tense.

Your example...

"I sat back down on the grass, feeling my vision starting to blur with the warm tears welling up in my eyes."

Perhaps a suggestion could be this...

"I sat back down on the grass as my vision started to blur, the warm tears welling up in my eyes."