Author: @CelticWhovian
Chapters: 10 chapters
Genre: Fantasy/ Adventure
Specific: Grammar/Punctuation, Character Development and Overall Enjoyment
Cover-
I like your cover which gives off an eerie feel.
"They seek a weapon of darkness to save a kingdom of light," ties in with the lightness around the darkened figure.
Blurb-
I like how you describe and introduce each character in your description.
Grammar/Punctuation-
You really have nothing to worry about in this department because your grammar was perfect. You didn't switch tenses.
You have a lovely writing style and a strong writing voice when it comes to using magical vocabulary.
One thing I will comment on, some of your sentences sounded a little off with the choice of words used.
An example is from chapter two.
"...she was equal parts anxious..."
This could be my opinion, but I felt like this could be worded differently for an easier read.
A suggestion could be, "...she was equally anxious..."
Another example was in chapter four.
"Travel through the forest became monotonous."
Again, this is my own opinion for an easier read.
A suggestion here could be, "Travelling through the forest became monotonous."
Character Development-
I like how you go straight into the appearance of Rose. She is my favourite character so far because she seems to be down to earth. You explain she is blind, and she walks with a cane making her appear as a diverse character. She is very loveable, and some might even say strong as she can sense and influence emotions. I wonder how she can actually do that and how it affects her? I'm not sure if you will explain this later on, but I'm sure a lot of readers are interested in this concept.
You have a strong set of characters, all with some sort of magical power.
There is a banshee, a healer, a wizard, a knight and an elf.
You even bring in some creatures I've never come across before such as the Sidhe and the Kelpie.
All these qualities that the characters have seem to complete each other in some way as they travel. Each one seems to have a weakness, whether that is physical, such as Rose being blind or an over challenging personality.
We see a lot of relationships blossoming like Rose and Gabe. There is tension between Tris and Llyr about who has what it takes to become a leader. Tris proves to be the sensible one that likes to take the reins although he doesn't appear to be the leader.
I loved the action scene in chapter five, as it puts each character to the test. We quickly learn that they have flaws and limitations in terms of their magical powers.
Overall Enjoyment-
I did rather enjoy reading your book. There were times when I became a little confused only because you added a handful of characters right from the start. It took me a while to get used to each individual personality.
There was too much information in the first chapter. This can be a little overwhelming for someone like me.
Having said that, I would recommend your book to anybody that loves fantasy with a twist of adventure.
I love that you included a pronunciation guide. This allows readers into your world. It can also make it easier for some readers to follow along.
One last note, it was nice to see that you used a lot of "he said/she said" inserted with the characters names. A lot of people think using "said" is bad in dialogue. It's nice to see that "said" isn't dead.
Thank you for letting me review your book. Please check "Reluctant Companions" if you've got time.