angst
+
nomin
requested
TRIGGER WARNING
Jeno stood in his bathroom, looking at his own reflection in the mirror. Pathetic, he would tell himself, snickering.
He made eye contact with himself through his reflection, and the voices in his head wouldn't shut up, telling him cruel things.
You don't deserve to live.
End it all, it'll be easier.
No one likes you.
Jaemin is taking advantage of you, he never loved you.
At the Jaemin statement, Jeno broke down, screaming, and throwing a punch to his reflection.
Later regretting his move, seeing as he had shards of glass in his blood-covered knuckles, amd the mirror had a huge spot covered in blood and cracks.
Jeno opened the cupboard next to the mirror, his eyes browsing the sight in front of him. There stood many bottles of pills, some bottles on the verge of emptiness, others full.
His hands reached for a random bottle, not caring what it was, and without looking at the name, he twisted the cap off.
His eyes were geeeted with the white pills, screaming and laughing at him. His tear strained eyes drifted off towards the bathtub, then his wrists.
Setting the pill bottle down with a loud bang, he walked over to the bathtub, filling it with water.
Once it filled up, he turned off the freezing cold water, and walked back to the counter. Throwing himself one last look in the broken mirror, he opened the drawer and pulled out a shiny blade.
He looked at it with fondness, and took thd pill bottle in his other hand. Jeno slowly walked over to the bath, setting down his items on the toilet seat cover.
He stepped into the bath, cringing at how cold it was, but he sat down anyway. The boy reached for the blade first, turning his arm to see his wrist.
There were already old cuts, some more fresh, lingering on his wrist. Jeno took the blade and dragged it along his wrist, and once he ran out of room, he cut the other wrist.
The water had turned red a long time ago, yet Jeno never seemed to care, as he reached for the pill bottle, pouring out a big amount.
Taking them all in his hand, he shoved them in his mouth, swallowing them after. Jeno closed his eyes, waiting for the pills to overtake him.
When he felt relaxed, his body relaxed, his eyes never opening again.
_________
Jaemin, who was in the local coffee shop, got a sudden call on his phone. He flipped it over, seeing Taeyong's contact name.
The boy answered, wondering what Taeyong had called for. "Hello?" Jaemin asked. "Jae"
Jaemin was confused. Taeyong sounded disvelished, and his voice was raspy, as if he was just crying.
"What is it Hyung?" Jaemin asked, worry overwashing him. Taeyong sniffled, scared to deliver the news to the younger.
"It's Jeno, he- he killed himself, Jaemin" Taeyong said, sobbing hard. Jaemin froze in his spot, not believing that his boyfriend would take his own life.
"What?" The younger asked in disbelief. "Just come to his house, I'm there" Taeyong cried, and Jaemin suddenly bolt out of the cafe, ignoring the confused stares of the customers.
He ran to Jeno's house, not caring that his legs were burning, or that he was out of breath.
Seeing the familiar door, he ran faster, opening the door in a hurry. "Taeyong Hyung?" Jaemin called out.
He heard Taeyong faintly yell that he was in Jeno's bathroom. Jaemin ran up the stairs, opening the door to Jeno's room hesitantly.
He took slow steps to the bathroom, scared of the sight that would greet him when he looked.
Finally reaching the bathroom, Jaemin looked, and saw Taeyong on his knees sobbing beside a lifeless looking Jeno.
Jeno was lying in the bathtub, red engulfing him, one arm over the bathtub, cuts evident on his inner arm.
His eyes drifted to the bottle of pills that lay on the floor, some pills scattered around the bottle.
Jaemin's hand covered his mouth in disbelief, and he broke down crying. Taeyong stepped out, leaving Jaemin with his thoughts.
"Just know, Jaemin, that this isn't the first time he attempted. This time, it worked" Taeyong cried, and left the room.
Jaemin sobbed, his head burried in his hands. Seemingly, the tears would keep falling no matter how hard he tried to stop them from falling.
"Why, Jeno? Why would you do this?" Jaemin sobbed, gripping onto the bathtub, feeling himself getting weak.
Jaemin got up, running out of the bathroom. He ran downstairs, ignoring Taeyongs confused stares and calls for him.
Jaemin ran, tears still flowing down his face. Bypassers stared at him confused, but he ignored them, not caring about anything at that moment.
He ran as far as his legs would take him, and his tears had seemed to get worse sometime during the run.
Once he stopped, he trew himself down, his hands landing on his knees, breath hitching.
Jaemin gasped for air, breathing hard. More tears made their way down his cheeks, and his eyes must be really red at the moment, but Jaemin didn't care.
Once catching his breath, he stood straight, looking out into the distance. His eyes landed on the beautiful scenery laying in front of him.
A gorgeous pink sky, with random streaks of orange, yellow and light red. He found his eyes shining at the sight, but then the sight of Jeno lying in the bathtub, red surrounding him, came to memory, and Jaemin hated the sunset.
His eyes drifted lower, looking at the bridge in front of him. He knew it was pathetic, but without Jeno, Jaemin had no reason to live.
This isn't knew for Jaemin. He himself had attempted a couple times, obviously none of them working. The boy used to be in a really bad state of delression in middle school, into his first two years of high school.
Jaemin was constantly bullied, at school and at home. He had come out as gay to his parents, and they kicked him out. He had to go live with his grandparents, they were the only accepting ones.
Somehow his secret had gone out and everyone knew. The cause many people to mock him, make fun of him, and call him names.
Jaemin had attempted four times, two not working, and landing him to the hospital. The boy had also spent half a year in a mental hospital, getting released after swearing he wouldn't try again.
Well, he lied. The two other times, his grandparents stopped him. He had yelled at them a lot, asking why they wouldn't let him just end his life.
Jaemin looked down, eyes greeted with the intimidating sight of dark water staring right back at him. Jaemin flinched, and he gripped onto the railing.
His tears had yet to stop falling, and were seemingly flowing out his eyes at a quicker speed than before. He wiped his tears harshy, the action not doung much.
Jaemin stepped over the railing, stepping on the other end. His hands gripped the railing behind him, his eyes looking down at the water.
Jaemin closed his eyes, letting go of the railing. He fell, his body landing harshly, at a strong impact, in the cold water.
There, Jaemin took his own life, deciding it was too much for him to go on.
-end-
1231 words
A/N: well, that's not what I expected to write, but oh well. hope you enjoyed, sorry if it's treally sad
Thoughts?