* This review may contain spoilers *
Username: Zayn_Martin
Genre: Historical Fiction/ Dark Fantasy
Chapters: 3 chapters (I will explain why in the overall enjoyment section)
Specific: N/A
Book
Cover -
I actually really like the cover. The image is creepy in itself and fits with the genre.
Blurb -
I found no faults with your blurb. It sounds interesting!
Grammar -
Apart from the very small errors I found and left inline comments to, your grammar was nearly flawless.
Punctuation -
Your punctuation was excellent! I have no faults here.
Character Development -
(Chapter One)
This was quite a rollercoaster of a chapter. It starts as Karam and his uncle explore the surroundings in search of something. Only Karam can hear the whispers, but something followed them, perhaps due to trespassing, and it woke up the beast, so to speak.
I like the contrast of the 'calm before the storm' vibe as all hell breaks loose.
Your descriptions of the scenery are beautiful.
(Chapter Two)
There are a lot more characters in this chapter, which can be confusing as it goes back and forth between them. You have names that are quite similar to each other, like Kamal, Karam, Nana and Nara, among a lot of others. I'm getting confused about who is who. Like who is Mussara? Perhaps because I'm not used to the middle eastern culture, but I didn't know what a Jibal was. I had to look it up and I don't think I got the right translation because this sentence doesn't make sense as it implies it's something else. "She was born a Jibal..."
Is it a name? My translation said it meant 'the mountains'.
Sorry if I'm coming across as ignorant. I'm generally curious and confused by the names, terms and the outline of the story.
And I had to Google baik, too. It said it's a name, which I didn't think was correct either. So, I asked my Egyptian husband and he said it's a title to a name.
Perhaps you could translate what these words mean so other individuals can experience and acknowledge these terms in the correct way. Again, I didn't get what this meant. "That wasn't her baik husband's way."
I don't know where this chapter fits in with the previous chapter. The vibe has also changed.
(Chapter Three)
This chapter entails talks about the land as it delves into history. Again, it was hard to get my head around. Two communities are bargaining over land and one wants vengeance. The Mother wants her daughter to marry a wealthy man to get back their power and everything that used to be theirs.
Overal Enjoyment -
If I'm honest, a lot of the story is complex for me to wrap my head around. That doesn't mean that your story isn't great, but that it requires a specific audience. It could just be me and that I found it hard to absorb what was going on. As a westerner, I had to rely on Goggle to translate certain terms in order for me to understand, and when that confused me even more, I had to ask my husband who is Arab.
I really loved the atmosphere and creepy vibe you created in chapter one, but from there on, it changed and the horror vibe fizzled out. It was replaced by lots of names and backstories. I was confused why Karam didn't tell the others what had happened to Uncle. Is chapter one like a prologue?
Another thing I loved was your descriptions! You have a mature-sounding writing voice.
Because I only read three chapters and your grammar and punctuation are very good, I can't think of anything you need to improve, besides adding translations of certain terms. Since you're the author, it's totally up to you if you use my suggestion or not.
Please remember that this review is based solely on my opinion. If you so wish for the review to be removed in any shape or form, please let me know.
Please keep writing & I wish you all the best on your writing journey!
Thank you for requesting the review & I hope it helps you in some way. Please check, "A Song for Dawn," if you have time.