Let's Stop Running From Us

there'll be so many more

After having sex with Jacob, Troye stepped into his bathroom to shower before his friends arrived. There he found himself standing in front of his bathroom mirror, completely bare, looking at his reflection with a frown on his face. Jacob had asked Troye to be his boyfriend again, which is everything that Troye wanted, and yet it felt so wrong and when Troye turned to look at the shower he realized that not only did it feel wrong, it also felt dirty.

Troye bit his lip, picked up his phone and opened his reminders. With shaky hands Troye typed in a new reminder and set it as his top priority:

Reminders:
Schedule STD test

'I should have said no,' Troye said to himself. 'Should have said no to the sex, probably should have said no to the boyfriend thing, but I can't...' Troye looked back over to the mirror, 'I can't,' he repeated, 'I can't live without him.'

Troye's somber mood followed him throughout the night. He wasn't himself when his friends arrived. He wasn't himself when he opened his presents. He wasn't himself when they headed out to the restaurant and even though he perked up a bit as his friends, including Jacob, sang happy birthday to him, he still wasn't himself. It wasn't until after dinner when Jacob said he had to leave as he had an early flight and still needed to head back to Jed's to pack, that Troye started to feel more at ease.

Jacob gently kissed Troye goodbye, told Troye that he loved him and that he would see him in Italy in a few weeks and Troye responded with affirmation, loving words, and a small smile, but as soon as he was sliding into Brett's car, Brett turned to him and said, "Spill."

Immediately tears rolled down Troye's face and he ugly cried as he opened up to Brett with his struggles.

"He fucked someone else, again?" Brett said in disbelief.

"Please don't say it like that," Troye sniffled, "we technically weren't together so like it's not a big deal."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that it's not a big deal. T, let me just be forward with you. I adore Jacob, he's a great guy, but..."

"Shhhh," Troye cut in, "just don't, ok?"

"Troye," Brett frowned.

"Can't you see I'm having a really fucking hard time with this, Brett!" Troye nearly yelled.

"Which is why I'm trying to encourage you to walk away before it gets worse," Brett shot back.

"That's not what I want, Brett. I want to fix this or learn to live with how we are because I love him and he loves me and we have a house and more importantly we have Nash, and Bloom, we have Bloom."

Brett shook his head, "this is so fucked. Troye, I love you like you were my own little brother, I seriously do consider you family, but I can not just sit here and watch you allow your relationship with Jacob to destroy you."

Troye opened his mouth to argue and Brett held a hand up to silence him.

"No, Troye, you need to listen. You're a nice boy, from a small town,"

"With a nice family," Troye groaned and rolled his eyes, "next you'll tell me I'm sheltered and don't understand the way the world works."

Brett sighed, "I'm not trying to pick on you or make you feel badly about yourself, but people from LA, from California, and even America, in general, are just so culturally different than what you are use to. I've met your entire family and your friends from back at home, T, they are all so not- LA. Jacob, however, Jacob is LA personified. He's gorgeous, so fucking alluring, he's filled with opportunities and possibilities and so from the outside he is everything a boy could ever want. But, when you really get to know LA, you realize it's the most fucked up place ever."