Let's Stop Running From Us

i need you now

Troye rubbed his eyes awake as the pilot announced their arrival to Perth. He sighed as he stretched to stand and then slowly followed the other passengers off the plane. He travelled with nothing but a carryon as he was going home and home had everything he needed. Well, almost everything, but he wasn't really going to allow himself to think about what was missing, not yet anyways. Troye scanned the airport as he made his way to the entrance. A soft smile spread onto his face when he noticed his dad. Shaun smiled widely and opened his arms. Troye quickened his pace as he walked to his dad and fell into him. Shaun embraced Troye tightly. "Hi Tok. It's so nice to have you home." Troye sighed. "It's going to be ok, Troye. Everything is going to be ok."

Troye pulled back and nodded.

"Also, everyone is so excited to see you. Saw Kayla yesterday and she was talking a mile a minute with all these things she has planned out."

Troye groaned and Shaun shot him a worried glance. "Sorry, Dad. I just want to spend the first week in my bed, perhaps with my laptop on my lap and a carton of ice cream in hand."

"Troye," Shaun sighed, "you can't shut everyone out."

"I'm not. I just need a break."

Shaun shrugged, "Whatever you say. Let's get you home."

And sure enough as soon as Troye got home he greeted his family and then retreated into his room. He shrugged his bag off his shoulder, dropped it to the floor, and breathed the familiar air of his bedroom in. Everything was just as he left it. His desk, his bed, his lights. It felt good to be home. Troye toed off his shoes and collapsed onto his bed. He ran his hand over his comforter and buried his head into his pillows. He then curled onto his side and reached his hand over his bed. He thought back to last year when he was home, and shit it really had been over an entire year since he slept in that very bed, and last time he had been there he was there with Jacob. Christ, time flies. And it was that thought that left Troye feeling in limbo as he laid in his childhood room. Being home like this made him feel almost like a kid again. So much happened in this house, long before anyone really knew who Troye Sivan was. And still even after Troye began to gain popularity on YouTube, he had somewhere to retreat to be himself and not feel so pressured into the world of adulthood. Because Troye had recently decided that adulting sucked. It was just too difficult. The days where his most difficult decision concerned what cereal to eat were long gone. Now he had to decide where to tour so not to piss off fans all over the world and more importantly he had to decide whether or not to remain with the man who broke his heart when he left him for someone else. Yep, Lucky Charms or Cinnamon Toast Crunch was the type of decision that Troye longed to have to make. Troye groaned into his pillow and then turned his head to look at his phone. "Jacob," he whispered. He promised Jacob he would call once he got settled. Troye opened his app for Skype, logged in, and clicked on Jacob's name. "Baby!" Jacob exclaimed when he appeared on the screen, "I miss you so much."

"Hey J," Troye replied.

"How are you, babe?"

"Tired," Troye sighed.

"Looks like you are already in bed," Jacob laughed.

"Plan on spending at least a week here."

"Aw, don't do that, Tro."

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

"You're so cute when you're sleepy," Jacob giggled, "wish I could cuddle you right now."

Troye rubbed a hand down his face and sighed.

"Troye?" Jacob asked sounding concerned.

"I just, don't want to do this anymore."