Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

My little El

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There were quite a lot of tense changes that I couldn't write them all down, but I would suggest glossing over this chapter to fix them.

"is" shouldn't be used if you're writing in the past tense.

Your examples...

"That is when Eleanor realized there was never a beautiful family."

"It's funny how everyone praises life with endless resources..."

My suggestions in the past tense would be...

"That was when Eleanor realized there was never a beautiful family."

"It was funny how everyone praised life with endless resource..."

(Chapter One)

I think you should add a determiner to this sentence.

Your example...

"Buzzing phone in Eleanor's pocket distracted her from the gloomy mind."

It would make sense if you started the sentence with "The" and changed the word order to fit the context.

Here would be my suggestion...

"The phone buzzed in Eleanor's pocket, distracting her from her gloomy mind."

or

"Eleanor's phone started buzzing in her pocket, distracting her from her gloomy mind."

There are even a few more examples, such as... "Eleanor's phone distracted her from her gloomy mind as it vibrated in her trouser pocket."

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You've made some typos. I will write them down, so you can change them.

Your example...

"...his arms immediately tangled around Camillia's waste,"

Instead of "waste," it should be "waist."

You change tenses again, so I would keep an eye on that.

You did pretty well, but occasionally the present tense creeps back in without you realising.

Your example...

"It takes bravery..."

"Lukas didn't even bother with any explanation and made his way towards Eleanor, with each step his smile widening."

My suggestions in the past tense would be...

"It took bravery..."

"Lukas didn't even bother with any explanation and made his way towards Eleanor. His smile widened with each step."

(Chapter Three)

I would be careful with words and construction of some sentences as some, are again, confusing.

Your example...

"Look since you'll be changing exactly me,"

Did you mean challenging me? Or shadowing me?