Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

The Perks Of Being A Human

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"I gasped, reclining in my seat and dramatically shook my head."

(Chapter Two)

Your example...

"Anything else?" The waitress who I captured that her name is Linda from her name tag, asked."

There are a few things wrong grammatically with this sentence.

One- you're writing in the past tense, and up until now, it's been good.

Using "is" makes this sentence inconsistent as it's the present tense.

Two- It's a little wordy.

My suggestion would be this...

"Anything else?" asked the waitress, whose name was Linda from the tag pinned to her shirt."

✿

Your example...

"I took my knife and fork from the table towel that was wrapped around them..."

I think you meant napkin; the white tissue-like material wrapped around cutlery.

The sentence is also in the passive voice. To change this, you need to reword the sentence.

My suggestion would be...

"I unravelled the napkin around the cutlery, and started to dig into my waffles..."

If you use American English, it would be unravled.

(I use British English, so my spellings might be different in my suggestions.)

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Your example...

"Jasmin began awkwardly trying to get into a conversation but instead, we stayed silent like the weird persons we are."

A suggestion could be this...

"Jasmin began, trying to get into the conversation, but instead, we stayed silent like the weird people we were."

(Chapter Three)

Your example...

"And why is everyone nodding frequently like a bubble head?"

It should be bobble head.

My suggestion...

"And why is everyone nodding frequently like a bobble head?"

Punctuation-

(Chapter One)

Your example...

"...how could you build my trust again for you."

One thing I did notice was you use ellipsis a lot (...)

You use it in every sentence, which defeats its purpose. This can be fixed with a simple full stop.