Opposite worlds »punk h.s

Chapter 96

[Harry]

 

From: Lucy.

Thank you very much Harry. I can't believe it, it's beautiful.

To be honest I was very eager to receive a message from Lucy and I don't want to be mean but I cannot believe that this is what I get. I'm happy that she appreciates what I did but I need more. I made the letter a thousand times and I was expecting more from her but I didn't get even half of what I thought. I understand her attitude, I really do but sometimes it drives me crazy.

What I really need is Lucy and her words, I need more communication between us but she is so weird sometimes that I don't know how to do it. I could approach to Emily and talk to her and she would respond but if I get close to Lucinda and try to talk to her I will not get the same reaction.

There are several things I can't do it with her and is due to the simple fact that she is completely opposite to the girls who I've went out. That kicks me out of my comfort zone and now I'm in a mysterious place. Anyway, I'm out of my comfort zone, I've never done for a girl what I did for her. My actions speak for me, I'm crazy about Lucy.

Every step I take is very important and that's why I'm so slow. I am afraid; I don't want to make a mistake.

I thought the work we have to do in biology would help us, join us but Lucy told me it would be good to start doing it online. I almost wanted to jump out of the window when she said that. I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and say that I am so in love with her and that I just want us to spend more time together and that she didn't do this to me because it was hurting me.

She has no idea how her indifference and fear is hurting me. Her fear of me is what scares me because I don’t want her to feel that way but unfortunately what we need is time.

The problem is that my lack of patience is nearly killing me. It is my worst enemy.

Each time we sat together and shared a couple of words makes me happy but it bothers me. It bothers me more than what I think and what I imagine. The wall is not falling and I'm a fool to think I could do the things better. Will I be able to break the wall? What if I can't do it? I cannot find any other solution, I have no choice. I just want Lucy.

Wanting Lucinda is exciting, real and such a powerful feeling. It's when you do the things you love to do. I know she is not a "thing" but I mean the similarity of the feeling.

I sipped my beer and leaned an elbow on the table. As always we are having a few beers with the guys, they don't seem to get tired of this routine but I do. I wouldn't change my friends but if I could I'd be in Lucy's house right now. Being next to her and just watch a movie or hide my face in her neck. I never thought I would appreciate and crave so much for something so simple, but it shouldn't be a surprise to me because that's all that composes Lucy, simple things.

I observe a couple and grab my phone.

 

To: Lucy.

I miss you Lucy.

The boy is hugging his girlfriend and kisses her forehead and that irritates me because I want those memories back, but I want it to be real.

 

To: Lucy.

LUCY I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH.

Dammit, I shouldn’t have sent it. Perhaps capital letters aren't going to help me right now. I hope she doesn't think I'm screaming at her. Maybe she thinks I'm desperate...wait, am I?