Opposite worlds »punk h.s

Chapter 32

 .                     ««LUCY»»

 

I'm a mess right now.

My heart is pounding, I feel that I can listen to my own heartbeat.

I know the competition is about to start and my mind should be focused on that but all I can think about is in the kiss and how I kissed him back.

"Oh my god," I whispered, bringing a hand to my heart.

I tripped over my own feet but I managed to maintain the balance. As I said before, I'm a mess right now, I can’t even walk properly.

I clean my sweaty hands against my jeans.

"Oh my god" I heard Mandy's voice and her body crashes against mine. She turns me by the shoulders to face her. "You kissed Harry Styles, you bitch!" She screamed excited.

"Shhhh, Mandy!" I said, frowning.

"You have to tell me everything, please?" She begs with a pout. I blinked a few times without say anything. I can't believe just what happened with Harry so how am I going to tell her? "And how was it? Oh my god, I can imagine his lips against mine and oh my god, how is the taste of his lips? How far he sank his tongue in you?"

"Mandy, stop." I ordered whilst I raise a hand in the air as a sign of "stop".

So many questions make me feel quite dizzy. Mandy is acting like Cassie, this is the reason why I don't want to tell her. So many questions and I find that all of them are irrelevant.

"Co-Could you keep this secret?" I asked and she nodded."Nobody knows..."

"A hidden love...I like it." She winks at me.

"This is not a hidden lo-love." I said shaking my head.

Of course not, right? I mean, there is nothing between us, we never talked about the first kiss and I doubt Harry will talk about this second. I have lost the will, I will not get anywhere trying to talk to Harry but in a way I have to make him respect me. I will not be every time he wants to kiss me or something. I mean I, um...what was I saying? I can't even follow the thread of my own thoughts.

I shook my head and started walking.

"Nobody knows this? Not even your best friend? "Mandy asked shocked.

"No, I haven't told her about this." I admitted.

"Oooh, this is not going to end well. I know Cassie a little bit and she is a bit exaggerated. " I nodded without looking at Mandy. She's right. "Anyway you look a little lost, I know we're not friends but if you want I can help you or give you some advice or just listen." Mandy shrugged. 

It's a nice gesture but I wonder if she does it because she cares, or just because the curiosity is killing her.

"Ahm, okay, thanks." And with that Mandy stayed quiet and I'm surprised that she didn't keep her interrogation but from the corner of my eye I could feel her eyes on me. I know she is full of questions but I don't know if it would be appropriate to tell her.

Anyway at some point I will have to discuss this with someone, right? I thought I didn't need anyone, I thought I could help myself but I think that is not enough. I know I need a third opinion, someone to guide me and give me some advice because I'm just a mess. I have no experience in this and I don't know how to handle it.

The question I must answer before continuing this is: What can't I handle? The answer would be Harry but is not, is love...or whatever it is this.

People use labels; they follow parameters that help them reach those labels or parameters that you can follow when you like someone.