Opposite worlds »punk h.s

Chapter 26

READ: Just to let you know I'm going to change my username to harryandtea!

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+ + + +           LUCY. (Tuesday)

Finally I'm home, I know I should be resting but I'm studying. I'm watching some videos on youtube to understand some math exercises. The math contest is this Saturday, only 3 days and I'm nervous.

I talked with Marcel a few hours ago and he told me that the competition will be tough.

I try to focus on what I'm doing but there is a image that spins in my mind and for once it's not about Harry.

It's about Cassie and Matt today in the cafeteria. The way in which they looked, the way they laughed or talked to each other. I was overwhelmed with all their demonstrations of love. I was jealous but also curious.  I wanted to know how it felt and for the first time I wanted to someone to look at me as Matt looks at Cassie. I've always seen in movies and apparently is something unique or more than that.

A kiss is a demonstration of affection and love. A kiss is something personal and intimate. It's something you can give to someone special.

I once read that a kiss has several health benefits, for example, helps you lose calories, makes you feel better and helps to your self-esteem. That's a lot and it's just a kiss. I didn't feel anything like that because my first kiss was stolen, if I could I would change it.

But I don't know, I always observe couples kissing in high school and I feel that I am not able to. Because, ugh, saliva and germs, that should be disgusting but people don't care.

Anyway, I'm curious. I wonder how people kiss, most of them open their mouth and use their tongues but how? I mean, there has to be a secret or technique.

I know it's weird but I searched the internet, "how to kiss". It amazes me the number of pages. I choose one and I read. I opened another page and continued reading. Basically what it says is that you should brush your teeth, take a breath mint, don't be nervous, that your tongue doesn’t act like crazy and that it has to be slow and delicate.

I find another page that talk about different types of kiss. The French kiss, the shy kiss, the kiss on the corner of the lips and so on.

Everything I've read is the theoretical but I have not seen any of the practical, the real part. I went to youtube and searched "learn how to kiss." There are many videos of different girls talking about the kiss or their first kiss. I stopped at a video in which a girl teach how to kiss.

I don't know whether to laugh or close the page. She teaches how you have to be flirty and how to act on the first kiss. Then she acts as if she is kissing someone. I imitate her movements. She opened and closed her mouth, I do the same. She moves her tongue in a weird way and, laughing, I do that too.

Strange but funny, how they do it? I mean how do they know which way they should move their tongue? Or how...

"Oh my god, you're so weird!" I jump when I heard Madison's voice.

I closed the page and turned to her. "It's not what you think." I stutter nervous.

"I'm not stupid, you were watching a video on how to kiss, that's so pathetic, you're so fucking pathetic." Madison frowns.

Auch. I keep my mouth shut because she is right. If I see this as a third person, I truly look pathetic.

"Wh-what do you want?" I asked.