Opposite worlds »punk h.s

Chapter 86

[Harry]

The road was not too long. I had to open the windows because inside the car it was very hot. I smoked a cigarette, then another one and another before getting out of the car.

I walked to the bakery and I made ​​sure to not find my mother before entering. There were a couple of people buying things and Barbara was the cashier.

"You look like a mess, Harry," was the first thing she said.

"How do I look?" I asked confused, my face looks normal, right?

"Horrible and tired,” she turned to another worker and pointed to the cashier machine. "I have tea, come on."

"Don't misunderstand me but tea doesn't sound like a good idea," I said as I followed her. "A good whiskey would be nice."

There is a room behind a door where workers leave their belongings, there is a small office that belongs to my mother and this is a place to eat too.

I sat down and Barbara handed me a cup of tea.

"You will not find anything here, you alcoholic child," she smiled and sat down. "I'm impressed that you called me, you have not been here in a while."

"Didn't want to come here," I hugged my legs and rested my chin on my knees.

"Are we going to talk about family problems?" She looked at me and I shook my head.

"Mom will be mad at me because I lied."

"Well, it's nothing new," I narrowed my eyes at Barbara. "Do not act like you're innocent, none of us are and I'm not here to say: 'Oh poor Harry' and you know that."

I took a sip of the tea and I would like to throw the cup because I need something stronger.

"I have about 15 minutes, what's wrong, Harry?"

I don't want to talk but I have to because I'm here. I gulped and stared at the ceiling.

"Come on."

"I told you that I lied to my mom, I lied about Lucy and about us."

"Lucy, Lucy..., I think your mother talked about her to me once,” Barbara grabbed her cup of tea. "If we keep talking like this it will a lot of time and I have to go back to work so I need you to tell me everything."

I pressed my lips into a thin line and looked away.

"You can tell me, Harry, that's why you're here. I will not judge you or tell your mother, you can trust me,” she spoke and I nodded.

"I did something terrible to Lucy, I can't tell you because you would probably throw that hot tea to my face. The thing is, I shouldn't have but I had no choice, it was horrible because she is the kindest person I know. I think she would help me if I call her even when she has negative feelings for me. I want her to hate me but I know she doesn't and that's not good but sometimes I like it because I feel I need to talk to her,” I whispered.

"Go on."

"Have you ever been disappointed of someone else?" Barbara nodded. "I feel disappointed of myself, I feel horrible. Lately I've noticed that everything I've been, everything I like is not real, I dislike everything, and it doesn't cause me any excitement anymore. All the things I believe are not true and it makes me feel very empty, "I shrugged.

"It may happen sometimes, keep talking."

"There was a girl that I was very much in love, crazy about her but she left and now she is back but nothing is the same. I look at her and I question myself for my decisions. I feel nothing for her and it disappeared so fast it scares me,” I rested the palm of my hand on my forehead. "Emily is not what I thought."