One Shot Book (Danti/Septiplier)

Insecurities

~ Septiplier One Shot ~

1401 Words

Jack's been nervous about going all the way with his boyfriend for a specific reason...
*Fluffy Smut, Possibly Triggering, Read With Caution*

Jack's POV:

I've always been worried about this day. I knew it'd come eventually, and I'm ready. I'm lucky he's dating me, so I might as well finally have sex with him...I'm just worried. You see, I've done some things to me body, in places you can't see when I am fully clothed. Cuts.

Look, I know he's going to react badly, he's never seen any of the things I've done to myself. That's exactly why every time we've almost gone "all the way" I told him I wasn't ready. Now I'm finally going to do it, I'm going to let him see everything I've done.

We sat on my bed, kissing, our maths homework forgotten about. His hand traveled down to my thigh, rubbing gently.

"Mark.." I pulled away, looking into his eyes. "I think I'm ready."

"Are you sure, babe? We don't have to, I'm fine waiting, you know that."

"I know, but I'm ready," I assured him, connecting our lips once more, passionately.

Our kiss became more heated, his hand inching under my shirt as his lips traveled along my neck, sucking and biting softly at my flesh. Whimpering softly as he did so, I laid back allowing him to crawl on top of me. He began to lift my shirt, removing his lips from my skin.

Should I warn him first? Should I just back out and tell him I've changed my mind? No, he's going to find out one way or another.

My shirt hit the floor, and I watched his eyes scan my upper body. His expression changed from horny as hell to sad and concerned as he noticed the cuts lining my tummy.

"Jack...I...Why didn't you tell me sooner...?" His voice was soft, breaking a bit as a tear rolled down his tanned skin. "Is this why you didn't want to do this until now?"

I nodded, maintaining eye contact, no matter how much seeing the pain in his eyes broke my heart.

What if he's disgusted and doesn't want to be with me anymore? These scars could last for a long while, what if he never wants to see them again. Could I blame him if he left me? No, I wouldn't want to be with me either if I were him.

Surprisingly, he kissed me, softly, sweetly. I thought he'd leave or be angry, but he just kissed me.

"Is that all there is, you didn't harm anymore of you're beautiful body, did you?"

"M-My thighs, too."

"How bad is it?"

I began to unbutton my black skinny jeans, slowly pulling them down and revealing the scars lining my hips and thighs. A few were still bright red from earlier today.

Now I was laying on my bed in just boxers, all my scars revealed. His fingers traced along my thighs, feeling my scars.

"I understand if you're mad...or if you want to break up...or-"

"Why in the world would I ever want to break up with you? I love you, Jack. There's nothing you could do that would change that fact."

Our lips joined again, lustfully. Once again his lips attached to my neck, kissing down my jaw and chest.

"Beautiful," he mumbled, kissing across some of the cuts on my stomach. "Perfect."

He continued to mumble compliments as he kissed across my thighs. I felt a rush of realization rush over me, my insecurities coming out from the back of my mind. Mark was making me feel special, I'd almost forgotten that I was almost completely exposed to him. He could see how much I hated myself, he could see everything. All the hatred, all the pain, all the anger, all the disgust, everything.

I felt like covering myself, and he seemed to notice my sudden shift in emotion.

"You're beautiful, Jack, you don't need to feel insecure in front of me. Everything about you is perfect."

We kissed again, this time I tugged at his shirt, signaling I wanted to keep going. I wanted to do this, I didn't want my scars to change anything. I wanted him.

Seeming to understand, he pulled off his shirt. He was straddling me, giving me the chance to grab at the buttons on his jeans, telling him I wanted them off as well. Rolling his eyes playfully, he unbuttoned his jeans and tugged them off, leaving him in just his boxers.

His hand moved on top of my clothed bulge, palming me slowly as he sucked on my neck. I let out soft moans as he quickened his hand.

"You sound so pretty, love."

I felt my cock harden at his words, unsure why I enjoyed his praise so much. His fingers hooked onto the elastic of my boxers, his eyes flickering up to meet mine, asking for permission. Blushing, I nodded, feeling him pull off my underwear. He rolled me onto my stomach, gently.

"I'm going to stretch you, okay? It's gonna hurt a bit, but I'll be gentle, I promise."

Nodding, I felt him place his finger over my hole, slowly inserting it. A stinging sensation filled me as he pushed his finger further inside me. I whimpered at the feeling, making him pull back a bit.

"I'm sorry, babe."

"N-no, it's ok," I assured him.

"I hate to hurt you.."

"I'm fine, please keep going."

He pushed a second finger in, another rush of pain flooding my body. After a moment or too, pleasure began to overcome that pain, making me moan as he made a scissoring motion with his fingers. Obviously feeling I was stretched enough, he removed his fingers from me, causing me to whimper at the loss of contact.

I felt his tip against my hole before he asked, "Ready?"

"Y-yeah."

Slowly, he pushed inside of me. I could tell he was being cautious, trying to be as gentle as possible. That's what I've always loved about Mark, he's always so caring. He'll always try his best to make sure you feel loved, which is probably the reason he seemed so hurt when he saw my scars. Although, I would never mean to make him feel like he wasn't enough, he made me feel loved, but he couldn't cover up all the hate I held for myself, no matter how much he tried. Which is not his fault, it's mine.

Wincing, I felt him fill me. It felt good, but, since it was my first time, it hurt a lot, too. He stayed still, allowing me to get used to his size. Once I did I gave him the "go-ahead" to move. Of course, he started out slow, pulling out of me, and moving back in, trying to be gentle.

Moans escaped my lips, "F-faster, please."

He obliged, quickening his pace, still attempting to keep me unharmed as he rammed in and out of me. I began to moan more and more, louder and louder.

"C-close, Mark," I warned, feeling myself approaching my orgasm.

"Me too, babe," he grunted, thrusting a bit faster.

"F-fuck, I'm gonna~!"

I came onto my sheets with a loud moan, soon feeling a warmth inside me. He slowed his thrusting, easing us down from our highs. Soon he collapsed beside me, both of us panting.

"How was that, I didn't hurt you too much, did I?" He questioned.

"It was great, you didn't hurt me in a bad way, don't worry."

He smiled as I turned over, cuddling into him. His thumb traced over the scars on my thighs.

"I don't want you to do this anymore, please try and stop, for me."

I nodded, nuzzling into his bare chest.

"Good. I love you so much, I hate to see you hurting. If anything wrong, you can talk to me, I'll always be here, Jack, I promise."

"I love you, Markimoo."

"I love you too, beautiful."

-

(A/N): so this was different. it was vanilla which i think is a first. i have no idea how to really write vanilla/first-time smut, but i hope this was cute. i wanted to mix some fluff, depression, and smut together. hope it was ok, and thanks again for 101K views, love you guys:)