Larry Stylinson

Louis twitter hate 2

WARNING: sad, self-harm, depression

Okay here's the second part. Sorry it took so long.

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Louis pov

I don't mind blood. Maybe I used to, before all of the scrapes and cuts I patched up on my little sisters growing up. But now, it doesn't bother me.

So when I slid the razor across my arm, I watched as the droplets of blood formed along the cut. It didn't even really hurt that much. So I kept going.

"Stupid,"

Cut.

"Ugly,"

Cut.

"Fat,"

Cut.

"Loser,"

Cut.

"Can't sing,"

I kept muttering all those things people said about me as I did it. The truth is, they're all right. I am stupid and fat and ugly. Harry and the boys all tell me I'm not, but I know they're just saying it to make me feel better.

I felt my eyes well up with years at how messed up things are. Why did I even get put in this band? Why does Harry even go out with me? Out of pity? As a sick joke?

That's the thought that causes the tears to roll down my face. The band, I could live without. I mean, I love performing. Well, I used to. Now I try to avoid singing into the mic, so no one can hear me.

But Harry. I love him so fucking much. If he's only dating me to humiliate me as a joke, I think I'd honestly kill myself. I can't live without hi- 'knock knock'

"Harry?" I asked, freaking out.

How did I not hear him come in? Why is he even home anyways? He usually goes out with some friends after work. Shit its friday. Liam and Niall are coming over for movie night.

"Yeah it's me. You okay?" He asked.

Damn. I'm sure he can hear in my voice that I've been crying. Okay take some deep breaths. Don't sound shaky.

"Yeah I'll be out in a s-second," I said.

I almost made it, but that last word shook like I was crying. He knows me well enough to know that.

"Okay," he said, to my surprise.

I guess that's one of the great things about me. He's okay with leaving me alone when I'm upset. He's seen me cry over hate or homesickness or just being sad many times.

I've never done this before though. I've never cut before. I'm not sure when it got this bad.

What am I gonna do? Here I am with my arms covered in slashes of blood. I can't go out like this. If I put on my sweatshirt the blood would stain through it.

I started crying again at the thought. Harry can't know about this. It'll hurt him. And that's the last thing I wanna do.

Okay calm down, don't panic or he'll hear me crying. I couldn't help but talk to myself when I'm worried. Okay, get a towel, stop the bleeding.

I grabbed a towel from underneath the sink.And that's when it started to hurt. I'd been so numb that I hadn't felt the stinging. Now though, the cuts burned, causing more tears to fall.

I pressed the towels against my arms and stifled a scream of pain. Ow ow ow ow ow. I bit down hard on mg tongue to avoid making any noise.

I sat there for awhile, but the bleeding wouldn't stop. I must've done it too deep. I've been in here too long. Harry's gonna get worried pretty soon.