Severus Snape Oneshots

Blurbs!

More blurbs because I'm lazy and these short ideas just keep popping into my head like impulsive thoughts ;p

•───✧✦✧───•

"Stop talking like that. Your unbearable amount of improper vocabulary words are making me feel dumber just by sharing the same air as you. Speak fluently and with punctuality."

"Who are you, my English teacher?"

"I am a teacher that happens to speak English- I'd say that suffices."

"Does it really, though?..."

•───✧✦✧───•

"Look, Professor! I was out with Luna Lovegood today in the fields!"

Severus looks up from his desk with an unamused expression, looking at the object- er, objects you were waving around in your hand. It was a small bundle of dandelions.

You joyfully walk over to his desk and set the yellow flowers down.

Snape's gaze lowers to the little pile on his desk with a subtle look of frustration.

"You brought me… weeds?"

"No, correction; They're flowers."

"Weeds."

"Flowers."

"I don't care what you call them- I'm allergic to them!" The man grumbles, using the edge of his quill to awkwardly push away the pile of… whatever they were actually called.

You sigh and groan dramatically, snatching them off of the desk.

"That's too bad. They taste pretty good." You state in a fake sorrowful manner.

Snape's eyes instantly snap to you, where you were pretending to eat them- you turned halfway away from him so he could only see half of your face, where you were pretending to eat them but throwing them over your shoulder.

"Goddamn children." He slowly mutters, shaking his head with a clenching of his jaw.

"I expect you to pick those up."