Severus Snape Oneshots

Blurb!

Y/n : "Hey, how many marshmallows do you think I could fit into my mouth?"

Severus : "....You are a hazard to society."

Draco : "And a coward- do twenty."

~•••~

*Malfoy Manor Game Night*

Narcissa : "Alright, let's all partner up!"

*Severus grabs your arm*

Severus : *whispering* "If we lose, you're out of the will."

Y/n : "I was in the will??.."

~•••~

POV; you're in detention with Draco, scrubbing cauldrons

Draco : "..And now I'm starting to get itchy-"

Y/n : "Do you use the same bathroom as your mother?"

Draco : "Sometimes, yeah.."

Y/n : "Then you probably have crabs."

Draco : "That's so not funny-"

Severus : "Silence!"

~•••~

Y/n : "That's poison ivy.. That is too... That-"

Severus: "Not every damn plant is poison ivy, Y/L/N!"

Y/n : "How would you know?"

Severus : *glares* "I'm the potions master, I think I'd know."

Y/n : " 'Kay, just double checking- because last I knew, you aren't the herbology teacher."

Severus : "You see that bush right there? That is poison ivy. Keep running your petulant mouth and I'll push you onto it."

~•••~

Y/n : "Don't just stand there, Professor! Help him!"

Severus : "I am helping him, Y/L/N.. You just need to be more patient. Mr. Malfoy is going to be fine."

Y/n : "Be patient?? Have you seen this motherfucker?!- He's leaking Hamburger Helper!"

Severus: "Y/L/N!"