Severus Snape Oneshots

You Have No Idea How Much I've Missed You

Severus stares at the ceiling of his bedroom in Spinner's End. The dry popcorn ceiling is ready to cave in at any point. To crumble and fall upon him, suffocating him. That's what his mind felt like at times.

He'd roll side to side, unable to get comfortable enough to sleep. But deep down Severus knew that his mattress wasn't to blame.

The branch taps on the window as the rain pours from the gloomy September sky.

One two three four

One two three four

One two three four

Severus counts the rhythm, unsure if the beat was hypnotizing him into a slumber, or just annoying the piss out of him.

He groans and brings a hand up to his face, rubbing his eyes. Severus keeps his hand there for a brief moment, before trailing it down to the side of his neck.

Sometimes, just sometimes, when he touches the gruesome scar it almost hurts. Like reminding him that he isn't truly free from the tortures of the dark lord. That he isn't free from his past.

The bumpy flesh of his skin tickles his calloused fingers from years of potion making.

Just like the many nights before, Severus turns on his side and closes his eyes.

Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

He'll admit that he didn't have too many of those. It was truly a goddamn wonder as to how he could conjure up a patronus.

Severus closes his eyes and takes slow breaths. He already took as much sleeping medicine (both muggle and wizard kinds) as he possibly could. Without overdosing.

Would that honestly be so terrible, though? Death? Suicide?

Severus had contemplated it during various parts of his life. Mostly after Lily died and right now.

But he couldn't. He had the courage to do so many things, including becoming a double spy for one of the most evil dictators in the world. But he just couldn't kill himself. Maybe part of it was his pride. He had come this far and he didn't want quit now. Plus, it was a coward's way out. That's what he thought, at least. He just simply cannot stand to pity himself.

"Bloody hell." He mutters, frustrated for not having fallen asleep yet.

Sometimes he misses Hogwarts. He didn't like many things in life, especially not people. But he appreciated the little things. Maybe because he knew that they wouldn't be there forever. All good things must come to an end...

He thinks about the memories of his potions classes and the conversations in the corridors.

He misses the smell of potion making.l, the art and craft of it. He misses the faces of the students when they'd mess up a potion. Specifically Neville Longbottom. Severus thinks back to the time when the boy messed up a calming draught in his third year. The only thoughts running through that boy's head was;

I am so dead. Oh sweet Merlin just kill me now before my potions professor does. I am so, so dead.

Severus fondly chuckles at the memory, his lips curling upwards as he remembers the boy's 'I-just-shit-my-pants-in-fear' expression.

Maybe he could go back to teaching? He'd thought about it. But at the same time, the break away from society had done him some good. Even after he was deemed a hero for his actions, he still didn't care for the publicity and popularity.

He thinks about the current Headmaster, Minerva McGonagall (bless that woman's heart). It was without a doubt that some day she'd take over.

Minnie was the kindest, most commanding, love-filled, badass Severus has ever had the pleasure of meeting. She was more of a mother to Severus than his biological mother. As annoying as that woman could be at times, he was forever grateful for her.

He hadn't actually seen her since the war. Since she screamed that dreaded word "Coward!" in front of all of the students after he had apparated away from the scene.

He misses her. But probably most of all, he misses Y/n. Oh sweet Y/n.

Severus sighs and rolls onto his back, staring at the detailed ceiling once more.

How the hell could he have forgotten about her? She was the one who saved his life. Not just from the snake, but from other things.

She was the greatest motivation in his life. It didn't matter what kind of day he had, she stuck around. Even after he had yelled and threw a glass across the room (and he still has never forgiven himself for that). The fifth year student merely sighed and took a seat, ignoring the possible consequences of insubordination.

Maybe the reason why he was so attached to her was because she reminded him of himself. Not fully, thank Merlin.

He felt this need to protect her. It could have been because of the way he had found her in her third year- being bullied by a group of students near the lake. Now that reminded him of his younger self. After that, she had gotten more comfortable around the potions master, even as far as gaining the courage to ask for tutoring. She didn't need it too badly, unlike others...

He still doesn't know much about her, actually.. She was so quiet and shy, yet funny and outgoing. There was something going on at her home, without a doubt. Severus wouldn't find that out until her fourth year during a "meeting" of his. That was when he made the connection between her and two deatheaters that happened to share the same last name. Her parents were deatheaters.

She'd be in her sixth year as of now.

Severus rubs his eyes with a sniffle. He still couldn't exactly piece together what had made that girl so special. The connection would have been described as much more than a mentor and a student... Rather, father and daughter.

Maybe that's how Minnie felt? She cared about all of her students in a mother-hen type of fashion, but Severus knew he was different from the others.

He owed them a visit. Maybe that could be a part of his healing process. Maybe not to seek out a job, but a visit would be good.

~

Severus has his hands in the pocket of his long black trench coat as he stares at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It hadn't changed much since the rebuilding process that had started nine months ago. It looked as though a war never took place at all.

Severus sighs and stares at the ground. He has a feeling of regret coming here, but there was something refreshing about it.

He clears his throat and squares his shoulders, before applying his neutral expression. One that he had worn way too many times in his career. In his life.

~

"Minnie." His deep voice calls out as he steps inside the door of the Headmaster's office.

The woman freezes, her hand holding the quill stops in the middle of her sentence. She slowly lifts her eyes from the paper as she turns her head to the voice.

"S-Severus?..." She whispers, looking the man up and down.

He doesn't say anything and merely stands there with his hands clasped behind his back.

Next thing he knows, the woman springs up from her desk as she bundles up her skirt so she doesn't trip over it. She races down the few steps of the office and hurriedly approaches her pupil.

Minnie throws her arms around Severus and he lets out a huff of air as she holds him tightly.

"Oh, Severus." She whispers into the man's shoulder, relief and sadness lacing her voice.

The man takes his hands from behind his back and slowly wraps his arms around the woman. He slowly exhales as he leans into her shoulder, begrudgingly forcing himself to admit how much he missed her motherly touch.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you." Minnie whispers, a crack in her voice as she clings onto the younger man.