Severus Snape Oneshots

I've Been Dazed and Confused For So Long

Looking back up into the mirror, you begin to sob. You look your body up and down before letting out a displeased whimper. Words don't even begin to describe the feelings that run through your mind. The most frequent to pop up are;

Dazed, confused, disgusted, conflicted, and out of place.

You are not a girl.

Maybe physically, but not inside. You didn't want to wear dresses, be expected to put on lipstick, share the bathrooms with the constant sound of high-pitched giggles, you didn't want to be referred to as "Miss".

Not

She

nor

Her

A few tears escape your eyes and you grab your bag, before running out of the room.

The bell for the end of the final class of the day had rang a few minutes ago. The corridors should be cleared.

You knew just the place to go.

~

You approach the dungeons and take a deep breath as Professor Snape's office comes into view.

Readjusting your bag for what seems like the hundredth time, you sharply exhale and continue to walk down the seemingly neverending dark corridor, clutching your sweaty hands at your sides.

You finally reach the office and stand in front the large wood door. You go to reach for the handle, but stop to stare at it.

Don't be a pussy, open the door

Fuck, maybe I should just turn around

Open the damn door, you're a Slytherin. Quit being a sissy.

I don't know if this is a good idea.. What if-

"Come in." A deep voice drawls out on the other side of the door, interrupting your rapid thoughts.

You make the bolder move by pushing the door open before your brain convinces yourself to turn around and pretend you were never even here.

You walk into the room and see Professor Snape writing at his desk, not looking up from his papers as he dips his quill back into the inkwell.

Standing in the center of the room, you begin to fiddle with your hands as you take a deep breath, your mind running a mile a minute.

Like the muggle saying- you just have rip the bandaid off.

"I'm transgender." You (unnecessarily loudly) blurt out, your voice slightly quivering.

Your body continues to slightly vibrate in nervousness as you wring your hands together.

You swallow harshly as you await his response.

But he simply continues to write, as if he didn't hear you.

Oh Godric-

What did I do? You think to yourself, biting your bottom lip.

I can't disappoint him. He means too much to me. Wh-What if he doesn't like me anymore?

He hasn't said anything- he probably thinks that I am-

"Okay." He shrugs, continuing to write.

Your hands stop wringing together and you sputter out incoherent vowels, totally confused.

Just- "okay"???

"What were you expecting me to say?" He murmurs, looking up through his eyebrows.

A brief moment of silence passes by.

"So would you prefer it that I use masculine pronouns? Will you still go by Y/n?" He nonchalantly asks, dipping the quill in ink again.

You stand there, totally befuddled. You slowly nod your head to both questions, your eyes still slightly widened.

Your body continues to quiver slightly, the high emotions and after effects of your earlier breakdown still sending jolts throughout your body.

He looks up when he doesn't hear a verbal reply. The man sighs at your shaking figure, setting his quill down before standing up from his creaky wooden chair.

He walks down the steps of the front of the room, his face looking slightly solemn. He stops in front of you and you lower your gaze to the floor.

"I would not think less of you because of your gender identity. Nor your sexual orientation, should you confide in me." He murmurs softly, his hands clasped in front of him. He allows a brief pause before continuing.

You look up at him and meet his genuine dark brown eyes.

"To be quite honest, the only time that I would be displeased with you is if you were to get anything lower than an 'Outstanding' on your exams... Now that, would be quite shameful." He says, raising an eyebrow as one side of his mouth curls upwards in a subtle smile.

Your shaking had calmed down and you smile back, wiping your moist eyes as you look back down at the ground. He lays a hand on your shoulder and tilts your head to look up at him.

"I am proud of the young man you have grown to be. And I always will be."

That was the breaking point.

You throw your arms around his torso and sob into his chest, pressing the side of your face against his black shirt.

He doesn't say anything and lets you cry against him, holding one hand behind your back with the other behind your head.