Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

The Reunion: Decagrace

Here is another example from chapter three...

"I was in contact with everyone except for a few. Those few important people of my past. I miss them very much. They were my best friends." 

A suggestion could be...

{"For years, I've been in contact with everyone except for the two most important people that didn't make it. They were my best friends and I miss them very much."} 

Again, I've tried to join together sentences and ideas to push the story along. One trick here is to read each sentence and ask yourself, did I repeat anything that I've already written? 

Punctuation - 

(Chapter Two)

This is a very minor issue, but one that is most common. You tend to overuse punctuation (exclamation marks and question marks) more than once. It's best to use only one punctuation, and not more. 

Your examples... 

"Mr. Jory McClose!!" 

"No, sir...Opzidopsi!!"

"How are we going to welcome them all??" 

Incorrect:  !! and ?? 

Correct: ! and ?  (just used once) 

Character Development/ Plot  - 

(Chapter One)

A short but impactful chapter. As a reader, we quickly understand the pain she had endured on that one night, and how meeting everybody at the reunion will bring back ugly memories. I'm glad she is doing the right thing and almost standing up for herself by showing up, although so many people in her past have caused her harm.  

There's a quote that fits Hazel pretty well, {'It's better to show up than to give up.' - Bernie Sanders} 

We don't have much to go on, but I sense a seek of revenge for the rest of the gracians. 

(Chapter Two) 

Here, we're introduced to Jose, the head principal. He seems like he has the world on his shoulders and only has the title of his job for another reason, not because he is good at it. 

There is some tension between him and Rayn - that much is obvious. I do feel like you could show us the palpable tension between the two. Rayn can't wait to get rid of Jose's power of being principal, but there's nothing to show us that Jose dislikes him apart from referring to him as "the devil of the son." I think rephrasing it would be better as {"the son of the devil."} 

Perhaps you could show us some kind of emotion that would connect us to how Jose is feeling. Is he sweating, tapping his fingers on his desk, biting his lip etc...

(Chapter Three) 

Rayn appears to not have many friends as he has made enemies with most of them, everybody apart from Hazel. I wonder why they are doing the reunion now after eight years and why they didn't try to make it sooner to bury the hatchet, as they say. 

(Chapter Four) 

I love the fact that you show us in dialogue that Lara has a French accent. It brings out character development for this character.