Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

End of the Tunnel

Character development/ plot - 

(Chapter One) 

Having been through depression and dealing with anxiety myself, this chapter speaks volumes. It's telling a story about a girl who is suffering from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder, and yet, this chapter encourages and inspires those that do suffer that they aren't alone. 

(Chapter Two)

This was a short and inspiring chapter. I like that you put a trigger warning because we do have to be mindful of others and their experiences. Self-harm is a sensitive topic and I like authors that delve into the realness of such a topic without glamourising it. Self-harm is still seen as a taboo subject in some countries. 

Everything the girl is going through is relatable because cutting can be like an addiction. I feel like only people that have been through this can really understand and describe the feeling you get when you haven't self-harmed for days or even hours, and you get this hit of compulsion to do it. That's why it's hard to stop because you almost feel like you need to do it to feel better again. So, I like how you show us that the girl has thoughts of her best friend and how she thinks about her encouraging words at that moment, pulling her out of what she's about to do. 

(Chapter Three) 

Calling somebody fat can have repercussions for them. It seems like a minimal word but has a huge impact on somebody's mental health. I like how you show the aftermath of her grandmother's words and how it's starting to affect her. 

Words can indeed scar and stay with you for a long time. It can actually be considered trauma and if you don't face it, the problem can create a bigger issue. It can manifest in anxiety, depression, social anxiety, low-self esteem, eating disorders and in extreme cases, PTSD. 

(Chapter Four) 

Again, another inspiring chapter. Her feelings are relatable and spot on. Bulimia is a cycle of binge eating and purging because of extreme guilt and a fear of food/ weight gain. But I like how in every chapter, you give the main character hope into getting better. She knows that one day she will become strong enough to recover and fight the battle within. 

(Chapter Five) 

This chapter is about the girl witnessing her parents argue daily. It's sad how true this is and how common it is to have toxic traits within the family and the household.

I would really love to see the chapters a little longer and coming from her perspective. Having it shown in 1st person can make the reader connect on an emotional level with the character. So far, I can't connect with her emotionally, but the only reason I can connect with the book is that I've been through everything she has and you've done a great job conveying her emotions perfectly. But if you want to inspire others, a suggestion could be to make her more three dimensional and zoning in on each trigger/trauma in each chapter. For example, when her grandmother calls her fat, you could show us how she thought of herself before the comment, and how that comment had changed her perspective of her body image instead of going straight into the trauma. 

Another example is when she sees her parents arguing. I wanted to know what her family life is like on a normal day. Has it always been like that? What are the triggers for them to start arguing? Basically to show the contrast between what she is like before the trauma to what she is like after the trauma. 

Overall Enjoyment - 

I enjoyed the chapters I read and I applaud you for writing about such sensitive topics with the aim of helping and inspiring others that have gone through this. Even if the readers haven't experienced what the main character has been through, it still gives knowledge. 

Things I suggest you could improve are: 

-1- Character development - more detail - As I said earlier, I think more detail could go into the character. Is she the same protagonist in every chapter? Multiple characters? I know that wasn't specified, but I felt like there could be more of a connection between the character and the reader. I would love to know more about her and her life to make her appear more real and relatable. 

-2- Punctuation - Block capitals and missing commas - I said in one of my previous reviews that using block capitals takes away its main purpose of emphasis. Since her parents are arguing and shouting, you could use some action tags to give the reader descriptions of what they are doing at that moment. What are they doing with their hands? Body language? What are their facial expressions? (I read somewhere that it isn't about what they say, but about what they actually do). I think we show a lot more through our use of body language, facial expressions and tone than the words we speak. 

Here is an example...

"I WOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED YOU HAD I KNOWN YOU WERE SUCH A BITCH!!"

From this example, I can picture her father saying this in an aggressive way by prodding his index finger into the mother's chest. I also just wanted to point out that there should only be one exclamation mark and not two. 

Keep writing & I wish you all the best on your writing journey!

Thank you for requesting this review & I hope it helps you in some way. Please check, "End of the Tunnel," if you have time.