Personal Body Guard - (Shawn Mendes)

69

"We haven't spoke since you went away
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever say what you want to say?
Even my phone misses your call, by the way"

-

*Emily's Point Of View*

We ate in silence, the only sound that could be heard was Barney unloading the dishwasher beside us. Usually when Shawn and I were silent there was a comfortable silence that lingered but now it just felt like an awkward tension was flooding the room.

As soon as Barney finished unloading the dishwasher and left the room I let out a loud sigh before dropping my spoon into my cereal bowl.

"Shawn can we talk?... please" I said looking at him intently waiting for him to answer.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now" he said  putting his empty bowl in the sink before heading up stairs. I didn't bother putting my bowl in the sink as I quickly rushed up the stairs following behind him.

I pushed his door open to see him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands.

"Shawn..." I whispered as I shut the door behind me making sure to lock it so no one came in.

"What Emily?" He said looking up at me in frustration.

"Why are you so mad?" I asked softly. I knew he was upset that I brought up his family but I thought we got past that.

"You just don't understand" he spat shaking his head before placing it back in his hands.

"Try me" I said sitting beside him. "I want to help.." I whispered after realising he wasn't going to reply.

"You want to help?" He started lifting his head to look up at me. "Stay out of my family life" he said sternly.

"Shawn-" I began to speak but he cut me off before I could even start, "No- you seriously don't understand Emily. You have your parents who love you so much. Your mom loves you so much... I wish I had that. My parents probably fucking hate me for what I did" he said his voice beginning to get shaky.

"I'm sure that's not true" I said placing a hand on his back, beginning to rub up and down slowly.

"W-what I did was disgusting. I-I don't deserve to see them" he trembled out, his eyes begin to gloss over.

"Have you ever tried to speak to them?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head immediately. "I miss them. So fucking much. But I just need to prepare myself to see them after so long. I need time Em" he said completely breaking down.

"Shawn... please don't cry" I whispered pulling him into me as he softly cried into my shoulder. I'd never seen him so vulnerable.

"Did you sleep much last night?" I whispered as he slowly calmed down with the help of my hand rubbing his back.

"Not a wink" he said softly followed by a sniff.

"Same. It was so weird without you there" I replied as we adjusted ourselves so we were laying down on his bed.

I continued to rub my fingernails up and down his arm until I heard the sound of his soft snores.

I bit my lip harshly as I thought back to last night beginning to feel extremely guilty and regretful.

-

I hit the search button before searching Shawn's Instagram name up. I clicked on the following and began to recollect my thoughts for the familiar name.