Personal Body Guard - (Shawn Mendes)

64

"We put faith in the sand
Seeking your mend, seeking your mend
In the heat of July
Beginning to feel so alive"

-

*Emily's Point Of View*

"So Emily How's college going?" My dad asked as he cut his food up.

"Yeah it's been okay" I replied not used to him being so interested in my life.

"I've seen you haven't attended a few classes recently" he said raising an eyebrow at me.

"Dad I got drugged by a class mate I'm not going to be able to just jump back into classes" I said.

"You were in the hospital for a week. That's plenty or time... am I wrong?" He asked looking genuinely confused.

I stared at him in disbelief. Why was he always critiquing and criticising me yet never helping me or being there for me. I went through one of the most scariest experiences and it felt like he didn't even care about what I was going through.

It was silent, my mom was staring at my dad as if telling him to stop speaking while Shawn had began to push his food around on his plate awkwardly.

I dropped my knife and fork abruptly. "Emily!" My dad scolded me at the loud sound and for potentially breaking his oh so fragile prelates.

I pushed my chair back before standing up and making my way upstairs.

"Get back down here young lady!" I heard my dad yell, but I was already at the top of the stairs and if I went back down I was afraid I would end up smashing that plate.

I slammed my door behind me before sitting down on my bed. Reaching for my plush pillow I grabbed it, holding it to my face before letting out a frustrated scream.

I continued to hold it to my face as I felt my nose become irritated and my eyes teary.

Why didn't he care about me? Like genuinely care about me? He cared about his career and his reputation.

I let out a sob before beginning to cry into my pillow.

"Can I come in?" I heard my mom's voice behind the door. I quickly threw the pillow to my side and wiping my under eyes.

I slowly stood up and made my way to my door, opening it to reveal my mom standing there with an awkward smile on her face.

She walked in and sat on my bed as I shut the door behind her. I turned around and sat down beside her.

"I know your father has been... extremely distant the past year and a bit but he's trying his best" she whispered placing a hand on my back, beginning to rub it in soothing circles.

"Extremely distant? - more like non-existent" I said mumbling the last bit but loud enough for my mom to hear as she let out a sigh.

"It's happening to all of us... your not the only one going through this honey" she said attempting to calm me down with her words.

"All of us? Mom you literally said he spent all night learning how to sew with you yet he won't even come to my 20th birthday, won't call me at all while I'm gone... he doesn't even care" I said playing with my fingers.

"Honey he cares. The first year being the president is tough, the next three years will get easier. I promise" she whispered.

"I'm sorry he hasn't been here for you and I will do my best to call you every night he's with me and I'll speak to him about this" she said making me look up at her.

"I guess so" I said letting out a small sigh. "Thanks mom" I said making her smile and pull me in for a hug.

"I love you darling and I hope you know that. I know he doesn't show it sometimes but we both love you very much" she said placing a kiss on my forehead.

These were the moments I missed while I was in Los Angeles.

"I love you too" I replied laying my head on her shoulder.

"The ball is tomorrow night so get some rest" she said making me smile and nod.

She kissed me one last time on the forehead before exiting the room.

I sighed before getting up to flick the light switch off. I flicked my lamp off before getting under the sheets.

I hadn't slept alone in a while. It felt so foreign being alone in a double bed, usually Shawn was here with my head on his chest while he rubbed my arm softly.

I sighed wishing it was a bit easier for us to be together but I was grateful I had met such an amazing person like him.

I smiled at the thought of walking down the aisle and seeing him at the end in a tuxedo. Or going to drop our kids off at school. It felt scary that I was this invested into our relationship but we'd both said we wanted kids which made it slightly less frightening.

I gasped loudly pulling the bed sheets to just under my eyes when I saw a figure in the corner of my room.

"It's me" I heard the familiar voice whisper.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Shawn you can't keep scaring me" I said pushing the sheets down.

"Sorry, It felt weird sleeping alone" he admitted making me smile.

"Yeah it is" I agreed as I moved to the side of the bed for him to get in beside me.

He laid on his back before pulling me into his chest.

"I'm sorry about your dad" he said breaking the small silence that lingered for a short period of time.

"It's not your fault. At all" I said confused to why he was apologising. "I know I just- I know what your feeling. Unloved by your own family" he whispered.

I looked up at him as he aimlessly stared up at the ceiling. "Shawn?" I asked quietly. "Hmm?" He hummed out.

"Can you tell me about your family?" I hesitantly asked knowing he didn't like me questioning him deep into his life but now I felt like I had the right to.

He sighed before pausing momentarily.

"Yea sure" he whispered back.

"My mom's name is Karen and my dad's name is Manny. They've been married for about 26 years now. They had Aaliyah 15 years ago" he said taking a breath in.

"Aaliyah and I were close growing up. I was forced to play dolls with her all the time by my parents" he said letting out a small chuckle.

"She has this one doll that I bought her for her 7th birthday... it was this stuffed girl toy. She had brown hair just like her but it had blue eyes originally - so I painted them brown like hers" he said smiling at the memory and it felt so good to see him smile especially about such a sensitive topic like that one.

"I'd hope she still has it. But I wouldn't be surprised if she threw it away... I've been a terrible brother and son" he admitted letting out a shaky breath.

"D-do you ever want to see them again?" I asked curiously. He bit down on his lip before letting out a sigh.

"Of course... it's just scary not knowing if they'll hate me or not" he said making me nod understanding where he was coming from.

"They're your family they'll always love you no matter what" I said.

"God I love you. So fucking much" he whispered pulling me closer to his chest.

"And I love you too so much Shawn" I replied snuggling my head into his chest.

To that we slowly fell asleep to the sound of our deep breaths and each other's heartbeat.

-

A/N: honestly might fuck around and triple update but guysss plz don't come for me for my last authors note. I didn't see this tweet that y'all were talking about him posting. I still haven't seen it cos I can't even find it haha