Personal Body Guard - (Shawn Mendes)

81

"I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you"

-

*Emily's Point Of View*

A small knock made me lift my head up and stare at the door.

"Yes?" I called out as another knock could be heard.

"It's mom" I heard her say from the hallway.

"Can I come in?" She asked making me sigh deeply. I leaned my head back against my headboard before getting up and walking towards my door.

I twisted the door knob opening it slightly before peaking out to see my mom standing there.

"Hi" I whispered not trusting my croaky voice.

"Can I come in?" She asked again. I sighed before nodding my head and opening my door as she walked past me, sitting on my bed.

I shut the door behind me before leaning against it.

"I'm worried about you Em" she whispered as she began playing with her fingers. "Really worried".

"I'm fine mom-" I said building my walls up so high that I couldn't see over them.

"But your not Emily. You barely ate any dinner last night... your eyes are so. Dull. And this is the longest I've seen you go without smiling" she said looking at me sadly.

"I-I just wasn't hungry" I stuttered out. It was true. I wasn't hungry. Because if I ate I knew I would've thrown it up.

"Emily. It's hurting me to see you like this ... you don't have to hide in your room. You can talk to me you know that?" she said staring up at me with glossy eyes instantly making me feel guilty.

"I know. I just need some space..." I whispered avoiding all eye contact with her as I gulped deeply.

"Okay..." she began to speak walking over so she stood in front of me. "I love you Emily" she said pulling me in for a hug. I hugged her back instantly, her warm body heat instantly cooling my cold body down.

"I love you too mom" I whispered resting my chin on her shoulder.

"Now go have a shower. You stink" she said making me chuckle slightly.

"You can speak to me whenever about whatever. Even if it's 4:00am and you are feeling a bit down" she said making me smile softly before she left my room.

I sighed as my eyes slowly drifted to the mirror as I stared at the reflection.

My eyes really were dull. My skin was pale and my hair was a greasy ball of knots. I had been hibernating in my bed so I hadn't gotten up to shower or spray deodorant.

I immediately knew I needed a shower as soon as I smelt my underarm.

I peaked out the hallway hoping my dad wouldn't see me before I began to tip toe down the hallway, coming to an abrupt stop as I heard my father's voice walking up the stairs.

He was too close to turn back to my room and he would hear me if I made a last minute sprint to the bathroom. I didn't fancy spending the next few hours in the bathroom as he knocked on my door begging me to come talk.

I pushed the closest door to me open quickly, hopping inside before shutting it behind me and locking it.

I leaned my forehead on the door, letting out a deep breath of relief as I heard his voice slowly drift off back down the stairs.

I turned around to lean my body against the door, freezing once I saw what room I was in.

The colour splashed messily along the wall was enough for all of the colour to rush from my face and my knees buckle beneath me. If it weren't for me gripping onto the door knob I would've fallen on my ass.

I stared wide eyed at the wall, all the emotions of that day coming back to me.

I shakily took a few steps forward before sitting on my knees in front of the colourful sheet that still laid on the ground.

I knew she wouldn't go through with that sewing idea of hers. She obviously hasn't been in here since.

I shakily held my hand out to put my hand on top of the large yellow hand print on the walls.

"Yellow" He said softly dropping his paint brush and dipping his hands into the can of yellow paint.

"Represents the joy and happiness you make me feel".

My finger slowly traced over the rest of the colours remembering all of the deeper meanings Shawn had created.

"Red..." , "The single most dynamic and passionate colour; the love, passion and infatuation I have for you..." I whispered remembering his exact words, tracing over the barely evident red heart that was painted on the wall

"And blue" I whispered. "For our vigilance, loyalty and trust" I continued as I ran my hand along the messy blue strokes.

"Green... the... harmony, balance and - growth we have and will have" I whispered running over my own green hand prints. A tear ran down my cheek knowing that there was no more growth.

"And white"

"Is everything... but mainly the clarity. The clearness and clarity that I feel when I'm with you. The clarity that I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That I love you. Every single part of you"

I choked out a sob at the memory.

My eyes drifted back down to the sheet filled with so many colours. And hand prints. I ran my fingertips over the larger handprint that was obviously Shawn's.

"I miss you" I choked out as I began to softly cry.

"So much".

-

A/N: here is the added chapter that I just needed to put in there. Ever since the paint chapter I knew I was going to do this. So here ya go cos I've updated four times tonight hahaha