I Love You Idiot!

Chapter 18:) Winner takes it all

18

Months and months passed. Cedric and I grew further apart. Especially when I saw him flirting with Angelina. That really pissed me off.

He knows how much we hate each other and he's flirting with her? Why? Did I do something to piss him off and he's just trying to get back at me?

I haven't had a real conversation with him since before he left for Christmas break. Ever since he got back he's been extremely distant. I really really miss him.

There's been times when I felt so alone I thought I was going to die. Or worse, I thought I was going to start crying.

I never cry.

That's how much I miss him. He is- was my best friend. Whatever I did must've really hurt him. I catch him staring at me all the time. But as soon as he notices that I noticed him staring he stops staring.

Being without him has really changed me. More people are afraid of me. My attitude has completely changed. I've been snappier, ruder, and just a plain bitch. I'm surprised George hasn't broken up with me yet.

I've found myself pining after Cedric a lot more. Pine. His cologne was pine. I can still smell it. I still have his jacket that he loaned me in fourth year. I have a bunch of his stuff.

It's all in a little box up in my room. I should probably give it back to him. We aren't really friends anymore.

That just hurts me so freaking much. We're not friends anymore. We grew up together. We were absolute best friends. Until one day when everything went to sh**.

I want to know what I did. I can't talk to him though. The only time we talk is when we have an assignment together. We just nod to each other in the halls. Don't even say hi. I want to. I just don't want to humiliate myself.

But what really scares me is my dreams. All my dreams have been scaring me lately. And hardly anything scares me.

Each and every one of them, Cedric and I are together. And I mean together as in a couple together. But I'm with George. I can't have feelings about Cedric. Cedric hates me. But I really really like him I think. It's been six months since I had a real conversation with Cedric.

He definitely hates me. I should hate him. But I like him. I found my feelings for Cedric growing while my feelings for George decreased.

Why am I feeling this way?

" Hayden? " someone ripped me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw him. Him! Cedric. My heart stopped. " are you crying? "

I realized that I had tears running down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them.

" don't be thick. I don't cry. You know this " I snapped in a bratty tone. I didn't mean to.

" sorry " he mumbled. I adjusted myself so I didn't have to look at him. I wanted to look at him. " you look good today "

I looked down at my outfit.

https://pin.it/gbqveiu5k2rlya

" thanks. " I mumbled. " what're you doing here? "

" I kinda need your help with something. You're the only one I feel comfortable talking to about this " he sat beside me. I stood up and walked to the armchair.

" fine. But really quick, I have something for you " I ran up to my room to grab the box with his stuff. Including a letter I wrote him. Just something I couldn't say to his face.

I ran back down and shoved it into his hands.

" here. I don't want any of it anymore. We can just pretend that each other doesn't exist anymore. " I didn't let him speak. I don't want to help him with anything.