Requested by Wheels_up_in_30
~~~~~
The boys and I have worked several cases together but this one... We've been trying to track this nest for weeks now and we finally got them. But I couldn't go with them on this one because I had some personal things going on, and the boys agreed that it's better to stay back if I don't feel good. The truth is that after that drunk one night stand between Dean and I, a couple of months ago, he wouldn't really argue with me because he feels bad for taking advantage of me even though we were both too drunk to care that night. But I really wanted it for long time now. When I realized what had happened, I thought that might the reason for us to start something important because I've been in love with the older Winchester for a while now but it was the exact opposite. It made us more distant.
Unfortunately, the hunt didn't go as planned and two of the vampires managed to get away. Dean was furious about it. So on the way back, none of us talked but I could tell that Dean is pissed by the way his hand is holding the steering wheel. Sam was sitting awkwardly on the backseat and was looking at his phone from time to time.
"I'm thinking of going out for a drink tonight. Wanna join me?" Sam asks
"I can't come Sam, sorry" I say
"Oh she speaks!" Dean says
"Can you not do that?" I ask him
"Do what?" he asks
"Play mad" I say
"Oh I'm not playing mad. I am mad! We've been watching over that nest for weeks now and we would kill them all if you hadn't decided to stay back the last minute" he says
"I told you that I couldn't come" I say.
"Why?" he asks
"Because I had to be somewhere else" I answer immediately
"Somewhere more important than cleaning a vampire nest?" he asks pissed
"Yes!"
"Really? Where?"
"Somewhere!" I answer pissed too at the this point "It's a bit personal" I say calmer this time
"And what is that supposed to mean?" he asks still pissed
"P-e-r-s-o-n-a-l. Personal!" I say "I'm gonna talk about it with you when I can" I continue.
"No! You are gonna tell me now" he says
"You know what? I was gonna tell you if you'd ask me nicer. But seeing you this angry... it doesn't make me want to talk to you about it. What is happening to you today anyway?" I ask. "Are you on your period?" I ask breaking the serious tone of the conversation and I hear Sam's chuckle.
"(Y/N)!" Dean says
"Ok, ok, sorry, I--" I was saying but a loud noise and a big crash interrupted me.
The next thing I remember is pain. My whole body was in pain and I was freezing. My head was laying on something that was coming up and down and soon I realized that it's actually Dean's chest. He started to move his body "(Y/N)? Sammy?" he calls but I couldn't talk. I couldn't even open my eyes.
Dean's POV
"I'm here" Sammy says. I turn my head and I see that he had already made it out of the car. "We got T-boned by a semitruck and it seems like he left us here when he realised what happened. The front part of the car got the worst of it" he continues
"Are you ok?" I ask him without moving more because I was scared that I might injure (Y/N) even more.
"I think so. How are you and (Y/N)? She got most of the hit, didn't she?" he asks
"It's... She's not looking good. She's pale and she is bleeding from somewhere... Her feet and waist are trapped between the broken sheets and the dashboard. The rest of her body is laying on my chest and I don't think that I should move" I say trying to sound as calm as I could but the truth is that I'm terrified. I take her hand and I try to find pulse from her wrist. "She has a pulse" I say a bit relieved.
"Great. I've already called for an ambulance and Cas, but he isn't answering" Sam says.
"Where the hell is he?" I ask
"I don't know" he says. I look back at (Y/N) and a whisper comes out of her mouth. "(Y/N)? Can you listen to me?" I ask rubbing her hand softly afraid that I might hurt her
"Dean?" she manages to whisper
"Yes, yes, I'm right here. Everything is gonna be ok" I say
"No. Everything that I can still feel hurts, my legs and waist are crashed and I can't feel my entire right side. But I-- I need tell you something" she says as her teeth were slightly chattering
"No, you need to keep your energy, alright?" I say
"Dean, I-- I'm--" but as she says that blood starts coming out of her mouth. She cough a couple of times and her head falls back on me.
"(Y/N)?" I call but she doesn't answer. I take her wrist trying to find her pulse again but there was only a very weak one. At this point I could hear the sound from the sirens of the ambulance coming closer.
_____________
They took us to the hospital first because they needed to release (Y/N) safely from the car. I didn't want to leave her but Sammy said that the earliest we go to the hospital, the fastest we will be free to go so we can be with (Y/N) and convinced me eventually. A couple of hours later, I was already done getting checked and I was told lucky by the doctor because both Sammy and I made it out with a minor concussion and a few scratches and cuts but right now I wasn't feeling lucky because (Y/N) isn't here yet.
We were told to wait in the waiting room. "Get trauma room 4 ready, they are bringing the third one from the car accident. They are 5 minutes away and she is already coding" I hear another doctor shout to the nurses and one more doctor while I was on my way to the waiting room. My legs got weak immediately and I freeze in place.
"Let's go" Sam says putting his arm on my back
"Sammy, I can't... She..." I say as my eyes get watery
"I know that it's hard but we can't do anything now. We can't help her. They got her. Let's go" he says and I nod.
Our only update for the next six hours was that they are were able to get her back and that they are taking her in surgery to repair as many things as they could. Their main priorities are the brain damage and the bleeding inside her abdomen. After that, if her heart could take it they would move on repairing the 11 broken bones in total, that were on her legs, hips, right hand and ribs.
Sam kept reminding me that eventually everything will be fine eventually became she is a tough fighter. I know that she is fighting, she would never give up but I can't help but be worried.
_____________
The next morning, the doctors said that they repaired all the damages but she is not out of the danger yet. She is in a coma state due to the excessive blood loss and exhaustion. They let us to go see her and the nurse lead us to her room. We stand outside of the door and the truth is that I was scared to open it. "I'm gonna give you some time and go bring us coffee" Sam says because he probably noticed that I'm not ok
"Thanks" I say and he leaves.
I take a deep breath and I open the door to her room. I get in and I close it quickly. I turn and I finally look at her. I felt like my heart dropped in my stomach as I saw her pale body being hooked up in all these machines. A tear escapes my eye but I wipe it quickly. I take the chair and I sit next to her bed. I take her hand and I kiss it softly. A sob came out of my mouth as my lips left her hand.
"I'm so sorry" I say crying "I'm so sorry (Y/N). We shouldn't be fighting back in the car and I should pay tension to the road. You were right, you can have your personal things but I was just angry and didn't want to admit it. I'm so sorry (Y/N)" I say crying and I kiss her hand again.
"But now I need you to stay strong like always. You made it through the surgeries and now I just want you to fight a little more so you can heal and then wake up, ok? Because you will wake up (Y/N). You need to wake up, you hear me? I don't want to say goodbye to you, I'm not ready yet and I don't think I'll ever be so you better not pull anything funny on us right now, got it? I'm gonna be here waiting for you. I love you (Y/N)".
____________
The next weeks went by really slowly. Every day that passed made me miss her even more. The first week she coded five times and after each time, I would find myself unable to control my emotions. I would be crying, holding her hand and praying. Cas came by but he can't heal her because the borrowed grace is fading away already.
Her broken bones and abnormal injuries are already healed and after several tests it seems like the brain damage is also repaired. But she hasn't woken up yet. She is still in a coma even though everything else seems good. It's totally up to her now.
But it's been almost three months... 11 weeks... 79 days to be exact. I stay by her side almost all the time and when I leave is to go home for a quick shower while Sammy stays with her and then back. I eat with her, I talk to her and I mostly sleep on a chair next to her bed. But as much as I don't want to admit it, I think that I'm slowly starting to lose hope. I can't lose her but all this, gave me time to think about it and I believe that I've started to accept the fact that she's gone. I don't want to but I also can't help it.
"Good morning" Sam says entering the room
"Morning" I say as he hands me a coffee cup
"Nothing?" he asks
"Nothing" I say and I take a big sip of coffee. Then silent fill the room and the only thing we could hear was the heart monitor.
Your POV
I could feel Dean holding my hand. I knew it was him because I heard him earlier talking to Sam. I've been trying to open my eyes or talk for probably a few hours now but I couldn't. Many tries later I finally manage to move my head to the side towards Dean and open my eyes. Immediately he left his coffee down and got closer to me "Hi" he says and I can clearly see the tears in his eyes.
"Hi" I manage to whisper
"I'm gonna go get the doctor" Sam says and runs out of the room.
"Do you need some water?" Dean asks and I nod slightly. He helps me sip some water with a straw and takes it back. "How are you feeling?" he asks
"I don't know" I say and he chuckles. He cups my cheek
"I love you so much (Y/N) and I'm so sorry" he says
"I love you too" I say and he kisses me.
______________
The doctor examined me in private because he also wanted to talk to me. The truth is that I knew what he wanted to say to me because it was obvious. I could feel it.
When Dean came back to the room, he noticed that something was wrong because of my mood change. "I need to tell you something" I say to him
"If this is about the rehab, you don't have to. I'm gonna be here with you all the way until your legs and right hand's faction be normal again" he says
"No, it's not that but I love you and that's why I need to say it to you" I say
"Ok, I'm listening" he says.
"That day I didn't come to the hunt because I had a doctor's appointment. I had my first ultrasound that day. I was pregnant and I waited to tell you because I wanted to make it in a romantic and cute way" I say as a tear escapes my eye.
"You were pregnant?" Dean asks still not being able to believe it. I nod looking down at my hands. "How far?" he asks
"11 weeks. I had photos of the ultrasound inside my bag" I say and immediately he runs to my bag that he probably brought here after the accident. He found them almost immediately and started at them for a while.
Eventually he came back to me and hugged me. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you that day. If I wasn't angry and arguing with you for no reason, I would have seen the semi coming" he says
"No, don't do that. Don't blame yourself for that too. It wasn't your fault and deep down you know that" I say and I peck his lips. "Ok?" I ask and he nods.
"We just have to deal with this together, like we always do" he says and hugs me again. "Those last 11 weeks... it was the worst period of my life (Y/N). Even worse than hell. Don't do that ever again, ok?" he says.
"Wait..." I say pulling away "I was out for 11 weeks?" I ask
"Yes" he says
"Wow... My baby was 11 weeks old when it died and I went into a coma and came back 11 weeks later... I mean, I'd say that God has a sense of humor if I didn't know that Chuck has already left us. But even he wouldn't think of that. This is so messed up" I say crying. Dean hugs me again rubbing my back.
"We got this baby. Now that you are here, I know that WE got this. We are gonna get through this and then physical therapy together. You fought till the very last second and now that you're here, I'm gonna do everything I can to help you. I'm not leaving you ever" he says
"Thank you. You have no idea how much I love you" I say
"I love you even more. Thank you for not giving up. You mean the world to me (Y/N) and I can't live without you" he says and kisses me.