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4 – A Fight Between Enemies
Eden paced the length of the bathroom, the hatred within her bubbling over, turning into a thick black mass of sadness and rage.
This was a trick. A sick game to boost Declan's ego and make me into the fool. I fought so hard against him yet caved so quickly. How could that happen? She stared at her reflection, gritting her teeth almost painfully.
The pitiful woman staring back at her was a stranger. Her eyes red and bloodshot, her hair a mess.
You're nothing.
You're weak.
You aren't worthy of his affection, of anyone's.
Keelan was right. Life is going to eat you alive. I hate you! How could you let this happen? You played right into him. You idiot!
A knock at the bathroom door interrupted her thoughts. She dragged her gaze from her reflection to the door.
And now he'll drag you from this room and beat you. Another punishment for not obeying him.
"Eden?" Another knock, a little louder this time. "Open the door."
She didn't move, only stared at the door lock. In her hast to get away from him, she didn't lock the door. Declan would have known that if he tried to open it. She drew her eyes back to her reflection.
The edges of her vision darkened; tendrils of smoke lashed out.
"Go away." She cried, yelling at her reflection. "Just leave!" The words echoed in the space.
More thoughts bombarded, rained down like a torrent of hate.
You're more than a punching bag, a hole to fill with a cock. He'll pass you around like a whore on the street. Watch as men pump their loads into your body over and over until he's either bored with you or you shrivel up and rot from the inside out.
Your pitiful attempts to fighting back have done nothing but worsen things. You couldn't listen to his command and go to him. Instead you ran like a scared little bitch, a child in an adult's body. Trying to jump out the window. Maybe this time you'll land on a point iron fence.
"Stop." She pleaded those terrible thoughts to end.
He's probably dragging out all his torture toys right now and setting things up. He'll hurt you. Make you bleed and beg for mercy. Then he'll throw you back in that box to rot away unnoticed, like the pitiful trash you are!
You've only yourself to blame. Always acting out when it isn't warranted. Never listening. Never obeying. Always fighting.
That's not true! She shouted back within her mind. I tried. I did everything asked of me.
Your body betrayed you.
He didn't care. But on some level, she knew he did. It was another example of her not trying hard enough to stop it, to control her body long enough in order to please him and prove that she could do it.
And she failed.
The bathroom door cracked open, the gap widening until Declan filled the doorway.
"Eden."
"Why aren't I ever enough?" She whimpered, oblivious to the fact that Declan stood not even a yard away from her, his hand resting on the doorknob. Her grip tightened on the edge of the counter, her knuckled turning white as another sob welled up inside her throat.
She leaned her forehead against its cool surface, praying for this suffocating pit of despair to end. "Why you hate me? I gave into you. I didn't fight. I did everything I could, and it still wasn't enough." Her knees buckled and she crumpled to the floor in a heap. Her shoulders bent forward, hair covering her face. "I don't understand. Why?"
Declan knelt on the bathroom floor a foot or so away from her feet. His tone softened, "I don't hate you, Eden. I never hated you."
"Then what is it? What am I doing now that's so wrong?" She sucked in a shaky breath and ran the backs of her hands over her wet cheeks. Another sob hitched in her throat, almost choking her. "I don't understand anything anymore. I didn't fight. I listened. I don't know what you want." She finally met his eyes, her voice cracking. "What do you want from me? What do you want!"
"You."
If it were possible, Eden managed to sob and laugh at the same time. "You're not making any sense. I consented. I was practically begging you. How clearer can I be?"
"Let me help you." He reached out, aiming for her arm or shoulder, but she swatted him away.
She scooted back on her hands until she the back of her head hit the clawfoot bathtub. "Just leave me alone." She drew her legs up to her chest, clamped her arms around them, and buried her face. "I want to be alone."
"It's kind of hard when you're sitting on my bathroom floor."
"Then I'll leave." Eden moved to haul herself to her feet.
"Sit. Down." The sharp edge to his voice returned. It made her freeze.
She lowered herself back to the floor but refused to look at him.
"Good choice." He leaned back against the cabinets of the bathroom sink. "We'll remain here until you're calm enough to listen to what I have to say."
The pair feel into a lapse of silence. She could feel Declan's eyes on her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. It wasn't from stubbornness, but embarrassment and shame. She felt childish now that she'd calm down. In the heat of the moment his rejection pushed her to her breaking point.
"I tried." Eden grumbled.
"No one said you didn't."
Another bout of stubborn silence.
She stole a quick glance at him. His knees were drawn up, his arms resting on his knees. His gaze lock with her. "You tricked me."
"How so?"
"Made me believe-" She shook her head with a sigh. "Never mind. It's not even worth it."
"What did I make you believe? Tell me."
Another glare shot over to him. "You know exactly what you did."
"Elaborate. I haven't a clue what you're talking about. How have I tricked you?"
"You made me believe that you cared." She cleared her throat and struggled to hold another wave of tears.
"I do care for you." He said. "I know the notion of me liking you is hard to grasp given our circumstances, but I do. It pains be that you think otherwise."
Eden couldn't help but laugh.
"Why are you laughing?"
"You locked me in a fucking closet for a month." Her eyes shot to his. "How is that anywhere near caring."
Declan ran his hands through his hair, taking his time to answer. "Life is made up of a series a moments. Some are milestones like births, deaths, and marriages, while others are more refined and harder to recognize as part of a much bigger picture. Are you understanding me, Eden?"
She shook her head. "All I'm hearing is more bullshit."
"Everything that has occurred in your life has led you to this very moment."
"Bullshit."
"The abuse you've suffered by your brother prepared you for life with me."
"I'm done talking." She turned away from him. Her eyes locked onto the wide single pane glass behind the tub. To the stars that littered the night sky.
"Dancing at Harvey's has trained you for a life full of entertainment." He paused. "Why is it that you've only slept with two men?"
Her lip curled in disgust. "It's four now thanks to you."
"A woman of your looks and body should have double if not triple that amount. What has held you back?"
"It's none of your business."
"I think I know the reason."
"Enlighten me then."
"Deep down you crave more than a mindless fuck. You need to feel desired and cherished. All women want that."
Eden laughed, "You don't know a damn thing about me."
"But I'm close, aren't I?" He crossed his legs and leaned forward. "Aren't I?"
"It's nothing like that." She shook her head. "I don't like people touching me. I feel dirty and disgusting."
"Yet you dance at a burlesque club."
"A club where I never once had to do a private dance until you came into my life."
"And there it is." The side of his mouth lifted. "Our link."
"You're telling me that my brother raping me since I was ten until my parent's death, led to me being a glorified stripper."
"You crave the affection of men, the adoration of strangers so you can feel whole. You seek out the things you've never had as a child."
She turned way again, her body red with embarrassment. "You don't know shit."
"You were conditioned into enjoying the treatment your brother dealt out. You learned to crave it because his pain was your affection."
"Shut up!"
"You convinced Keelan into killing your parents. They knew what he was doing to you, didn't they?"
Eden tightened her hold on her knees and began to rock.
"They knew how much he hurt you, yet never did a thing to stop it, to save you." Declan pressed on.
"Our mom caught us together." Eden mumbled, refusing to look at Declan. "She'd been drinking lot during that time. One night she stumbled into my room, saw me under Keelan with his hand over my mouth." Her voice was far way. "All she did was close the door. After that he came to my room almost every night." Tears spilled from her eyes. "He ruined me."
Declan shifted his weight but held his distance.
"I tried dating. Tried fitting in with different crowds in school. But you're expected to do certain things people. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Every time a man touched me, I thought of Keelan. It was to the point that it was the only way I could get off. How fucked up is that?" She bit her bottom lip and began to cry.
"I stop dating after a while. In school, I was labeled the tease. The girl who thought she was better than everyone around her. But in reality, I was suicidal and broken beyond repair." She dragged her gazed to his. "How exactly does that lead me to you? Tell me why I was forced to carry this burden alone."
"Eden." Declan hesitated before moving closer, inching his way over to her.
She tracked his movements. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"When I touch you, what do you see?"
"Nothing."
"When I touch you, what do you feel?"
"Everything."
He reached the area near her feet and sat cross legged directly in front of her. "I've been to Harvey's dozens of times. With clients and by myself. I didn't go there to see anyone else but you."
Eden covered her face with her shaking hands and begin to sob.
"I found you for a reason, Eden." Still, he didn't touch her. "I had to break you from your past and tame you for your future. You are meant to be so much more."
"Then why punish me?" Eden asked, "If I'm meant to be here, why do you want to hurt me?"
"I'm teaching you to find the pleasure within the pain you feel."
"I don't understand. Beating me into submission, telling me all those hatful words, doesn't have anything to do with pleasure."
"Is that so?"
"Yes." She held her ground, knowing she was right.
"Do you not feel a rush when you defy me?"
She paused, thinking his question over. All the times she fought him was to prove that he couldn't control her. Her actions were a direct reaction to being forced to do a task she didn't want to do. But with her outbursts came the fear of him coming for her, wanting to be with her as sick as that sounded.
His anger and out bursts made her giddy with excitement. His harsh words that shredded her ego and left her weak and broken, only made her crave him that much more. His beatings were her torture, yes, but those after moments were always there. She endured the pain that brought the pleasure that she sought out.
The rape, although traumatizing, had pushed them together. He'd made mistakes and took it upon himself to fix them. She remembered the way she clung to his arm, the way he brushed hair out of her face to tell her to breathe through it, and how his touch dulled some of her pain.
Her mind flipped to the moments after those painful encounters. The ones where Declan held her while she cried, took care of her all wounds, how he managed to make her feel cared for. Those were the moments she looked forward to when disobeying him. Those small windows of calm before the storm meant everything to her.
She craved his attention, hungered for his soft touches that cleared her mind of everything but him. Declan allowed her to feel something other than empty, a hollow shell of a broken person.
"I don't want to tell you." She mumbled as pink flooded her cheeks.
"Do you feel something other than a rush?"
"I feel everything and more. A rush. The fear." She paused, searching his face for a sign that he understood. "When I'm with you, I feel so alone."
"Yet you continue to fight."
"Don't you understand? I can't sign my life away."
"And that is why I stopped."
Eden felt like she'd been punched in the gut.
"You aren't ready to sign." He tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. "There isn't a need to rush. When you're ready, you will sign the contract and officially submit your will as tradition sets out for us."
She grew quiet, "Will you continue hurt me?"
"That's entirely up to you, Eden. Do you plan on obeying my demands?"
"I can't promise anything, but I'll try."
"Consider it a step in the right direction then."
A small laugh bubbled to Eden's lips. "Now it's my turn to ask you something."
"What is it that you'd like to know?"
"How badly do you want to fuck me."
"So badly that I almost broke tradition." And now it was Declan's turn to laugh.
Words: 2,488
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