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7 – Day 21/The Letter
Eden read the letter in its entirety once then twice. She couldn't believe it. Ben had wanted to come to her, to keep her company, but couldn't.
Over the past few nights Declan had be on a war path and Ben was the main person of the receiving end. Declan knew something was amiss, that Ben had grown fond of Eden, yet all Eden wanted was a friend. Someone who would make her feel less lonely in this house.
Ben kept his distance, but she was always in his thoughts. He told her about a dream he had in which the two of them spent an evening together out in the rose garden. She got lost in his story of how they laid in the grass underneath the night sky. It was so dark that nearly every star within space could be seen shining and twinkling up there.
Then the oddest thing happened in his dream. The stars in which they were watching began to rain down. And as they touched their skin the stars tuned to water. The night sky was literally rain down stars.
[add more to this section with the letter]
Eden wanted to know more of his dream. Did he dream of holding her, kissing her, or maybe even as far as making love to her? She was never one for senseless emotions, but her mind conjured up the most wonderful outcomes. She wanted to experience his dream and wondered if the stars within his mind were the same as her own.
But as her eyes continued down the page, a burning ach began to build in her gut. Keelan was dead, found hanging within his room. Her eyes remained dry even though her heart ached. She knew Keelan's death would come eventually, given that Declan had threated his life on more than one occasion.
Her eyes skimmed those sad parts before traveling back to the ones where Ben tells her he misses her and back to his dream. She didn't know how many times she read his letter, but at one point her eyes clouded over with tears for the dead.
She couldn't stop it now.
As she read about Keelan's death one last time, Eden brought the pages to her chest and allowed herself to feel. Only she wasn't crying about her brother's death. She was crying because she had no one. No friends. No family. Nothing.
No one to miss her. No one to look for her. No one would find her here, in Declan's house.
The fight which burned within her heart and flooded through her veins was fleeting, leaving her a cold, empty shell. Was it finally time to give into Declan? Allow him complete control over her person, her body.
Eden slammed the back of her head against the wall, ignoring the pain and sobbing, "How could you?"
Another thump and another. Then something wet tailed down her neck. The pain in the back of her skull was so immense that it was almost numbing.
Eden curled up on her side still clutching that letter in her hands, "I'm sorry. For everything I've down." She cried, "I'm so fucking sorry."
She continued to sob underneath that red hot light. After a while, it clicked of, casting her once again in total darkness.
*** Into the past***
On Eden's eighteenth birthday, she aged out of the system. It was farewell to group homes and the foster care system and hello to adulthood and near haplessness. If it wasn't for her current boyfriend, she'd be out on the street.
Over the next two years she worked hard to build her life, found her job at Harveys and eventually moved out after a bad break up.
Now at the age of 20, Eden sat in the visiting area of the Sagebrush institution, waiting for Keelan. This would be the last time she'd see her brother but at the time she didn't know.
A male nurse dressed in all white lead Keelan in the equally white room. Everything about this place was stale and sterile. No colors. Only white.
Eden didn't recognize Keelan at first. He was still tall, but his muscled body had atrophied, leaving him rail thin and ghostly. His cheeks were hollow and covered in dark stubble. His eyes were sunken and lifeless. This man was a stranger.
But as Keelan sat across from her, he held his hands out, urging her to take them.
Eden placed her hands in his, asking, "How are you?"
"Better." His eyes filled with tears. "I'm a monster. I understand now. What I did to our parents," He shook his head as though to clear it. "What I did to y-"
"You're the only family I have." She squeezed his hands, "Remember, I have your back and you have mine?"
"How can I forget?" He glanced up at her, the side of his mouth lifting in a sad smile, "It's why I'm here."
"You needed help."
"I needed this." He leaned forward. "I needed to be tested.
"What are you talking about?"
"Life weeds out the weak, Eden. I survived my mind." He said, "And you, you survived me."
Eden nervously glanced toward the nurse standing near the visiting entrance, "I forgive you for everything."
Keelan pulled his hands from hers, "You forgive me?" His voice drops, "It's not me you need to forgive."
"I never thought you'd actually go through with it. It's not my fault." She rushed to get out as tears filled her eyes. "I was just a kid!"
Keelan laughed, his bellowing voice drew the attention of the others in the room. "Always with the tears."
"Please keep your voice down."
Keelan pulled Eden close. "You're not a good person, Eden. You're a monster just like me."
"Break it up, Burrows." The nurse spoke from across the room. "Don't make me come over there."
Keelan released Eden's arm before proping his head in his hand. "Everything's cooler than cool over here, Boss. Just talking to my kid sister is all."
Keelan glared at Eden. "Ain't that right sis?"
"Everything's fine." She spoke, never taking her eyes off her brother.
Keelan smiled again.
"I'm not a bad person." Her voice wavered.
"You're right. You're worse. You're a monster, Eden. Just like me."
"I didn't kill anyone." She whimpered.
"You didn't have to. I have your back and you have mine, right?" His eyes dropped to her chest, then came to her face. "Why'd you come, Eden?"
She blushed, "I came here to-"
"Rub it in?"
"No, I-"
"I don't believe you." His voice dropped. His eyes traveled down to her breasts, savoring her. "I think you came for another reason." His gaze flicked back up to meet hers.
Eden back stiffened, which only made his smile grow that much bigger.
"You know, you're the only thing I think about at night."
Eden could barely breath, her cheeks flushed. That familiar heat rushed towards her groin, and with it came all the shared feelings.
Keelan continued. "I think of all the ways life can test you to see if you're strong enough. And sometime... Sometimes I envision all the ways you're gonna fail. You aren't strong like me, Eden. You're weak willed and too emotional."
Eden jumped to her feet, "Shut up."
She backed away from the table as he stood. His massive 6'3 frame towered over her.
"When life wins, I'll be there waiting for you." Keelan shouted as the nurse in white sprang into action. He slammed Keelan over the table, pinning him down until his back arrived. "Hell is the only place we belong."
"That's enough, Burrows!" The nurse's back up arrived, brushing past Eden who stood frozen a few feet away.
Eden rushed from the visiting area and out the main hall. She kept walking, looking for the nearest bathroom. When found, she darted into the first stall and leaned against the door, nearing panting for air.
Memories flood her mind. Eden thought about him at night too when she touched herself. She got off on the moments of pain he caused her. The way he'd forced himself upon her in those later years but then shower her with affection when he was done. How he'd kiss and hold her if she cried.
But something else got her off. The thoughts of him killing their parents brought her even more pleasure.
Keelan was right. Eden was a monster. An irredeemable one at best. One who deserved every ounce of pain Declan had to offer her.
The heat in her groin intensified. She couldn't stop herself. Her hand slipped beneath the hem of her dress and under her panties as she began to pleasure herself. Her mind floods with thoughts of Keelan on top of her, holding her body down the first time he fucked her for real. The pain was unbearable, but a part of her enjoyed the pain of him entering her, of him pumping his seed into her on all those nights alone.
Then came the memories of how he held her as she cried, how he tucked her into bed after he was done with her, read her a story, and watched her until she fell asleep. In those moment he was all she had.
Within seconds of starting, Eden clapped her bottom lip between her teeth and brought herself to a silent orgasm. Her body rides out the last of the legs trembling pleasure before shame takes over and ruins the moment. Tears flooded her cheeks. She sank onto the toilet seat and promised herself this would be the last time she'd set foot in this place.
***present time***
Eden laid on her side sobbing in the dark. Her head throbbed.
"I don't deserve happiness." She whispered. "That's why I'm here."
Words: 1,783
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