Ok, I admit it. I'm in love with him. I've been in love with him since always. Dean is the love of my life but he doesn't seem to notice. He actually doesn't even notice me. He just ignores me most of the time because he doesn't like me. Sam is the one who brought me in the bunker in the first place and said that Dean wouldn't mind. But he was wrong. So Dean almost always acts like I'm not there and talks to me only when it's necessary. This is happening for the last two years.
At first I tried to be nice to him, to be polite and not bother him but he didn't care. So I stopped caring too. Well, at least I tried to stop caring. I couldn't forget him. Everytime he would walk in the room, I feel like the room gets hotter and butterflies are going crazy in my stomach. And when he smiles, which he does rarely in front of me, I can't help it but smile too and keep staring at him. He is pretty dreamy and I have no idea how he does it but everytime I see him he is even more beautiful than before. It's really hard to take my eyes off of him. But of course he hasn't noticed.
Sam, on the other hand, has noticed it from the first days. There were many times that he tried to convince me to go talk with Dean but he gave up after the first year. There was no way I'm talking to Dean about what I feel. He doesn't really like chick flick moments and feelings like these. And I'm scared of what his rejection can do to me. So I prefer not to find out what he thinks.
I spend a few days at Jody's because I needed some time to go away but today the boys needed me. Well, Sam needed me because we have research to do. He said that we are looking for something called Occultum. Never hears of it before but that's what the library is there for. Not that I'm into reading like Sam but this way I can be useful to the boys. That's actually the only reason that Dean talks to me.
'(Y/N), what are we hunting?'
'Did you find it?'
'You didn't find it yet?'
'Is there anything to eat?'
'Tell Sammy that I'm gonna be late'
Those are pretty much the only things he says to me with the last one hurting me a bit more.
I park the car in the garage and I get out of the car. Dean was in the garage too, cleaning the Impala. I look at him for a second and he looks at me. But as soon as our sights met, we both looked away. "Is Sam in the library?" I ask "Yeah, he has already started searching" he says not even looking at me and I nod "Thanks" I say and I leave him.
I go to the library and I see Sam and a ton of books in front of him. "Hey welcome back" he says and hugs me "I missed you" I say and I hug him back. "Let me guess, he ignored you again" he says "Of course he did. But I don't care anymore. He can do whatever he wants and I just don't care anymore" I say and I sit on the chair "Yeah, right" he says ironically. "I'm serious. These days away made me realize that I don't need him. I just need to understand that. So that's what I'm doing" I say "Sure" he says still ironically "Hey, don't do that" I say and he chuckles. "I'm gonna believe you when he comes in the room and you won't blush" he says and looks at his book again.
"I'm gonna go change and then I'll come to help you. But if you make fun of me again, I'm not doing anything" I say and I smack his shoulder. I walk to my room but I stopped in the way because I saw something weird im the storage room. I walk inside and I see transparent Sam and Dean playing rock paper scissors. But they had weird clothes on and Sam had a man bun. "Guys!" I shout standing there still looking at them. Sam rushes in the room "Oh yeah, I forgot. They are us from a different universe and they opened a rift but because their world got destroyed they kinda stuck in there" Sam says "Ok, too much information. But look at the man bun" I say and I start laughing. "Don't worry, I'm never gonna forget that I saw it" I say and I leave laughing.
I changed and by the time I went back to the library Cas was there. "Hi Cas" I say "Hello (Y/N)" he says and then Dean came in the library. "Hello Dean" Cas says "Hi Cas. So anything on the Occultum?" Dean asks. I don't answer and I sit down. "I have something. The last person that took him is described as attractive and healing people with her glowing hands" Cas says "Jo. Ok let's go" Dean says "Attractive huh? More like hot as hell" Dean says as they walk to the door. Sam turns and looks at me and I smile at him like I didn't care about what I've just heard.
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So it turns out that the Occultum is hidden in a church and they boys are getting ready to leave. "Wait" Jack says "What is Chuck checks in on us here?" he asks "He's right. If he doesn't find you here, he'll know that you are uo to something" Cas says. "I have an idea" I say "Follow me" I say and I run to the storage room. "Tadaaa" I say showing them the other Sam and Dean "It's stupid but it could work" I say "Yes, it could" Cas says "Ok, then. Let's find a spell and get them out of here" Sam says and he leaves the room to go find the spell.
Cas and Jack leave too to help him and I stay in the room alone with Dean. It was awkward. "So had a good time at Jody's?" he asks and the butterflies in my stomach suddenly wake up again. I tried to fight it but I couldn't. "Yes" I say and I smile "Good" he says and nods. "Ok, let's do this" Sam says as he enters the room. I walk to him and I help him find the ingredients. "You don't care huh?" he whispers "Shut up" I say "It went better in my mind" I continue and he nods.
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The spell worked and the alternative Dean and Sam stayed back with me. I showed them around quickly and I helped them dress up like the boys. The only thing was that Sam didn't want to lose the man bun and he was pretty serious about it so I gave up.
Dean was really nice and sweet. He said yes to everything I told him to do in order to make him look like this world's Dean. And he was smiling almost all the time which melts me and makes the butterflies in my stomach go wild. This is probably the most time I've seen Dean smile in all the time I know him.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask the boys "Of course" Dean says and smiles again. Sam was kind of snob "What are you going to do when this is over?" I ask "I don't know. I mean we were never free. Our dad always told us what to do and not do. But you guys... you have it all" he says. "Not exactly" I say and I take a big sip of my beer. "What do you mean?" Dean asks "Nothing forget it" I say and I get up from my chair.
"I'm gonna be in my room. If you get lost, yell" I say and I start to walk. Dean gets up from his chair and stops me "Wait, it's better if you talk about it" he says. It's the first time I hear something like this from Dean. It's the first time Dean cares about me. My eyes fill with tears and I turn away from them "I'm sorry" I say and I run to the hallway. But Dean stops me in the middle of the hallway.
"(Y/N)..." he says and takes my arm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I say and I burry my face in my hands "It's... It's ok" he says and places his hands on my arms and rubs them softly. It seemed like he was scared to touch me because it's probably the first time he touches a woman but it was cute. And it made me even worse. I wipe my tears and I look at him. "Thank you for your interest but... he never did anything close to that to me" I say.
He smiles again and I smile too. I lean closer to him, I stand on my tiptoes and I kiss his cheek. But the second I lean back, he leans and kisses my lips. I was taken by surprise. I kiss him back and he seems like he knows what he is doing. He pushes me on the wall without breaking the kiss and he places his hands on the wall next to me face. His hands travel down my arms and to my hips. I jump and he catches me. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around the back of his neck.
The sound of the door opening made us pull away. We were both trying to catch our breath. "Wow" Dean says and smiles and I chuckle. Then the other Dean came "Is everything ok here?" he asks looking at us "Yeah, everything is fine" alternative Dean says "(Y/N), can I talk to you?" Dean asks and I nod. I follow him to the kitchen. "What was that?" he asks pissed "What do you mean?" I ask "You are bot out of breath and your lips are red" "Then you know exactly what happened" I say and I take a step to leave but he stops me.
"You're kidding me, right? I mean with him?" he asks "Yeah" I say "Why?" he asks pissed again "Because he is not you" "What is that supposed to mean?" "It means that he notices me" I say and I leave him alone in the kitchen. That was hard but it was for the best.
I find the other Dean in the hallway and I take his hand. I drag him to my room and I lock the door. "Where were we?" I ask and I kiss him again. He catches me and carries me to the bed. He sits me down and takes his flannel off. I push him away "No, wait" I say and I sit up. "This isn't right. What the hell am I doing?" I say and I start to cry.
"Did I do something wrong?" Dean asks concerned "No, you're amazing. You care about me, you talk to me, you notice me... you're amazing. And he is not. And you look like him, you sound like him but..." I say and a sob stops me "But I'm not him" he says and wraps his arm around my shoulders. I nod and I cry harder. "I mean I must be crazy. You are so nice and I'm still stuck with him" I say between my sobs. "He has never done this for me before, he is even barely talking to me" I say. "I wish I knew what to say here but I don't" he says and I chuckle.
There was a loud knock on my door "Time to leave" I hear Dean's voice says. Dean gets up from the bed and leaves the room opening the door just enough so he could get out without letting the other one see me.
Dean's POV
I took him out of her room and he is more than ready to go. If he stays one more second here, I'm gonna shoot him. "We didn't do anything" he says ans I turn to look at him "But I'm begging you, go make this right. She is being through enough of your torturing already. She deserves at least a talk" he says and I nod feeling totally embarrassed.
Your POV
Dean opens the door without knocking first and sees me crying. Great. "I'm sorry, I'm gonna stop" I say trying not to piss him off again. "It's ok" he says and comes in the room. He closes the door and sits next to me. I look down at my hands trying to hide my crying face from him. He places his hand on my back and rubs it softly. This was it. This was the right one. This is the one I needed. This is the touch and care I've been starved. Knowing that I started crying more.
"Sh sh sh..." Dean whispers as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and brings me close to his chest. He hugs me and lets me cry in his chest. He... "Sh sh sh, it's ok. I'm here. I'm not leaving you" he whispers.
When I started to calm down he pulled away and cupped my face. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. I didn't know that I was hurting you. I wish I would have done this from the beginning" "Done what?" I ask and he pecks my lips softly. Yes, this is the right one. This is the one I need. "This" he says as he pulls away. "Thank you" I say "No, don't thank me. I will always have to make up for what I did. I'm just glad the other one was here to show me how much I really needed you. "I love you so much (Y/N)" he says "I love you too" I say and we kiss again.
"Finally" Sam shouts from outside the room and I chuckle.