A/N: I don't know about you but I can't stop watching this gif
No, no, no, no, this can't be happening. This is not right. This should not have happened. I can't do this. I am not ready to do this. And he is certainly not ready. He will hate me when he finds out. He doesn't want this. He will kick me out and I will be alone with... it. How did this happen anyways? We were careful. I was on birth controls and he was wearing condoms. Should I even tell him? I mean I can deal with it on my own and he won't even notice it. It's just a doctor's visit and it will be over. But I don't want to lie to him. How the hell did I get in this place?
I walk slowly to the library where Dean was. I would think everything all over again at each step closer I got to him. "Dean?" "Good morning, slept good?" he asks and pecks my lips "Not really" "Why?" he asks. I look away from him and I take a deep breath. "Hey what's wrong baby?" he asks softly and rubs my arm. I could feel the tears in my eyes form "I love you so much" I say and a tear escapes my eye. "I love you too but you are starting to scare me (Y/N)" he says and I start crying more. "I'm sorry" I say sobbing. He hugs me "It's ok. Whatever it is we will deal with it and everything will be fine, ok?". I nod and I hug him.
"Can we go talk in our room? In case Sam comes, I don't want anything to interrupt" I say "Sure, let's go" he says and takes my hand. We go to our room and we sit on the bed. "Firstly I want to tell you that those last four years that we've been together was the best ones of my life. You make me so happy Dean" I say between my tears "Ok, now I am terrified, (Y/N) what's wrong?" he asks. "I'm pregnant Dean. I'm sorry. I don't know how this happened" "You're sorry?" he asks and smiles "(Y/N) you have no idea how much I love you especially now" he says and kisses me. "So you're not mad?" I ask "Of course I'm not mad. Why did you ever think that?" "In this life Dean, we can't have anything like this. And I'm certainly not ready for this" "Why?" he says and cups my cheek.
"I'm not ready to be a mother Dean. I'm not even capable of taking care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of a baby? Our baby?" "Why do you think of that? Who is cooking in here for the three of us? Who is doing laundry? Who is cleaning and gets mad when I wake up last and don't make the bed? You are so ready (Y/N). Look, I get that you are scared right now because I am too but we will figure this out. Together" "Thank you" I say and I hug him. "Anytime baby" he says and kisses my cheek.
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8 months later
I woke up at 1:30 am because of pain on my belly. At first I thought that little peanut is moving and kicking as always but it was a different kind of pain. Suddenly I feel something wet between my legs. I sit up and I see the blood between my legs. I hit Dean that was sleeping next to me. "Dean, Dean wake up, Dean" I say and he gets up. "Are you ok?" he asks worried "No, Dean something is wrong" "What?" he asks and I show him the blood. "Let's go" he says and picks me up. He puts me in the car and starts driving to the hospital.
I groan a bit from the pain. "Hold on, ok? We are almost there" he says and I nod. But I was feeling dizzier and dizzier every second. "Stay with me, ok? Everything will be--" a bright white light and a crash was the last thing remember before the darkness took over.
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Dean's POV
It's been about three hours since we arrived at the hospital but no one has updated me on (Y/N). My phone started ringing. It's Sam. "Hey Dean, where are you?" "I am in the hospital" "What? Is everything ok?" I take a deep breath "(Y/N) woke me up a few hours ago. There was blood coming out from between her legs. So we rushed to the hospital. But on the road a car driven by a drunk guy crashed on ours. I made it out with a few scratches but (Y/N)... *sob*" I wipe my tears "How is she? How is the baby?" he asks worried. "Sammy, right now I'm looking at my newborn baby girl and I have no idea how her mother is doing. Sammy, she is beautiful, the most adorable and beautiful girl I've ever seen. And from what they've told me she is strong and she'll be fine but I know nothing about (Y/N). The only thing they told me is that it's pretty bad. I can't lose her, I can't do this without her" "I know. I'm coming there, ok? Just remember that every second they don't come to update you, she is still alive" "Ok" I say and I hang up.
I was afraid to pick her up because I thought that I'm gonna hurt her. She is so beautiful and seems so fragile. I'm sitting next to her for about two hours now, just stroking her soft cheek. "What to hold her?" a nurse asks me "No, it's fine" "Don't worry, you're not going to hurt her" she says and I nod. She picks her up gently and hands her slowly to me. "Just like that, you got it. Congratulations daddy" the nurse says and I smile at her. I sit on the chair and I look at her little face. She stretches her small arms and rubs her face. She starts crying. I get up and I start to walk around. "Sh, it's ok. I know that you are used to be closer to mommy but she is not here right now so you're stuck with me" she calms down as I talk to her. "Don't worry, mommy will be back soon. The doctors are fixing her right now and she'll be just fine". She looks at me with her green big eyes. The colour might be the same as mine but the shape is definitely (Y/N)'s. "I love you so much babygirl" I say and I kiss her forehead.
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It's been two month since the accident and (Y/N) hasn't wake up yet. She was injured really bad and the doctors said that she is giving a strong fight to stay alive. And to be honest, I wasn't expecting anything different from her. I try to be with her as much as I can but in the same time I'm trying to take care of our little girl. Sammy is trying his best to help but he knows that I'm not ok.
My phone started ringing while I was changed peanut's diaper. But I didn't pick up. It's starts to ring again. I put the little one inside her crib and I take my phone seeing that Sam was calling me. "Everything ok?" I ask worried "She's awake" he says. I hang up and I run to the kitchen. I grab a couple of milk bottles, I prepare babygirl's bag, I put some warm clothes on her and we leave.
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I run to her room and Sam was waiting for me outside. "How is she?" I ask "Wait, where is--" "I left her down at daycare. How is (Y/N)?" "The doctor is with her right now and he said that he'll update us as soon as he is done examing her" "Ok..." I say and I take a deep breath.
The doctor comes out a few minutes later. "How is she?" I ask immediately "She is doing better. And with some rest I expect her to make a full recovery" "Thank you" "Of course" he says and leaves. I go in the room and she turns and looks at me. "Hi handsome" she says weakly "Welcome back baby" I say and I sit next to her bed. I take her hand and I kiss it.
Your POV
He kisses my hand and I notice that his eyes get watery. "Are you crying?" I ask "No, no, I'm fine. Thank you for not giving up" "Of course" I say rubbing his cheek softly. "Well, how does she look?" I ask and he smiles "She's beautiful" "Seems like she took from me" I say and he chuckles "Yeah, she is your spiten image and I love it. But she doesn't like to sleep much so she must took that from me" "Definitely" "I love you so much" "I love you too" I say and he kisses me.
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The next day Dean said that he will bring her to my room and I got really nervous. I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm that responsible. While I was pregnant it was easier to believe that I could but now that she's here I know that I'm not ready. The door opens and Dean comes inside carrying her in his arms. She looked so small wrapped around his muscled arms. "Here she is" Dean says "I know that we haven't picked a name so I was calling her with nicknames" "You didn't have to wait" I say "Want to hold her?" Dean asks "I see that she is sleeping so you should keep her" "No, come on" "No, Dean it's fine, really" I say but he hands her to me anyways. She starts to cry as soon as I got her. "Dean--" "It's ok just rub her back" "No Dean I can't. Please take her" I say and he does. I lay down and I turn my back to him. I can hear that she fell asleep again. "I'm gonna drop her and Sam home and I'll be back" he says and leaves.
I get up and I get dressed. But before I could the doctor comes inside to discharge me. Unfortunately it took him long enough that Dean came back. "Ready to go?" Dean asks "No" "No?" "I'm not coming with you" "What?" "I'm not coming back with you" "Why?" "Because I can't do this. I can't be a mom. I can't be her mom. I'm gonna hurt her and I know it because I'm useless. I mean she already hates me. You on the other hand seem to be doing great with her. She will be better with you" "Do you hear yourself right now? It took me long to make her get used to me because she missed you. The only time she would stop crying at first was when I talked to her. The nurse told me that this is happening probably because she got used to my voice while she was still inside of you. And with that said I believe that she probably missed you too, your body, your connection. From the moment we left from this room she started to cry again because I bet she recognized you. The only reason she cried was because I woke her up" he says.
He walks closer to me and cups my cheek wiping my tears. "Please come home with me (Y/N), come home, let's go to our family" he says and I nod. "I'm sorry" I say "It's ok. We'll do this together, ok?" he asks and I nod. "I love you" I say "I love you too" he says and kisses me. "I missed you so much" he says and kisses me again.
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We made it back home and the first thing we heard was little peanut's cry. "Sammy?" Dean asks and Sam comes carrying her. "I can't make her stop crying" he says. Dean looks at me "Want to try?" he asks and I hesitate "It's ok. If you can't, say it and I'll take over" he says and I nod. I take her gently from Sam. "Hi babygirl" I say and she starts to calm down "Are you making uncle Sam's life difficult?" I ask. She finally opens her green big eyes. "Here she is. Aren't you the most beautiful girl on all the universes?" I ask and I smile. I start walking to the room "Where are you going?" Dean asks "To hang out with my girl. I need to make up for the time I was gone" I say and he smiles.
I go to the room and I sit on the bed with my back laying against the headboard. I lay her on my chest and I can feel her calm heartbeat. She seems asleep. A few minutes later she starts to lick and try to suck on my skin. My body doesn't provide milk anymore so I take my phone from the nightstand and I text Dean.
Daddy, we need you
A few seconds later he came. "Everything ok?" he asks "Yes actually. But Grace needs food and I do too" I say "Grace? I like it" he says and kisses me "I'll be right back" he says and leaves the room. He comes back with a bottle of milk and pie. I take the milk from him and I feed Grace. "Want me to take over so you can eat and change into something more comfortable?" Dean asks "No, I'm fine. But you can feed me" I say. He chuckles and feeds me some pie. "She is perfect Dean" "I know. I love you so much" he says "I love you too. Thank you for bringing me back" "Your welcome" he says and kisses me.