(Her point of view)
It has been eight, painfully long days since I was forced to return home. I have done all within my power to keep extra busy in attempts to take my mind off of Loki's excruciating absence. But most of all, I have doted on my beloved daughter, giving her absolutely all of the love that I possess. Still, despite the immense joy that her bright soul offers me, I cannot help but worry so horribly for my brother, Odin, and all of the warriors. But mostly, for my beloved King. I try so very hard to remain optimistic in my attitude, but there are times when I simply must shed my sorrowful tears. My poor family has had to endure my fluctuating moods, but they have been truly marvelous in their efforts to comfort me. Kendha, especially. She and Christiana have rarely left my side at all. I cannot understand how my sister is able to remain so calm in her own husband's absence, but I am thankful for it nonetheless. For were it not for her constantly cheerful disposition, I would likely go mad from depression. She is truly stronger than I had ever realized. And once again, I am left feeling all the more grateful for our close friendship.
Even with Loki gone, it is as if his powerful and mighty presence still lingers here in this place. He is everywhere that I look. I had hoped to escape the ghost of his haunting image by riding out to the shoreline only the very next day after we returned. I was desperate for some sort of relief from my wallowing agony. But it was completely pointless. For as I urged Breseis onward in the surf of the Termina ocean, all I could feel were his eyes on me. Almost as if he was standing off in the distance, watching my every move. It seems that he is so immensely a part of my soul that I cannot even escape the entity of his image. And for this, I am honestly very thankful. It is more proof that he is so very truly the whole part of me. His very aura solely encompasses my being no matter where I am or what I am doing. It seems that, despite my most intense efforts to take refuge from my pain, it is all rendered hopeless. He is everywhere, in everything. I see him in the trees as the gentle breeze flows through their thriving leaves. I hear him in the ocean's masking laughter as it rises to meet with the sand's ruffles. I feel him in the soft caress of the green grass's blades as they skimmer beneath my bare feet. And I know....it is because he is as much a part of me as my own heart. Because he IS my heart.....He is my everything. And other than our precious daughter, no one matters more to me than him.
I have layed awake every night, shedding sorrowful tears as I pray for his safe return. I cling to Liv as she sleeps, holding so very tightly to her. I cannot help but mindlessly wonder what in gods' names is going on there in Asgard, what could possibly be happening at that exact moment. I picture his face in my mind, allowing for his burning green eyes to flood my thoughts. I recall the intimate and bestial sounds of his whispering, velvet voice. The feel of his expertly, gentle touch. The powerful emotion laced within each and every single one of his remarkable and venereal kisses.
And yet another unsettling fact always floats to the surface. Each and every morning, I have risen with the sun before Liv has awoken and made my way swiftly to the temple. All in aims to hopefully receive any word from Adrielle of any news regarding my King. But upon every visit, I am left all the more disappointed. For she has yet to present herself at all. I have truly been left in the dark without so much as a single word as to how things are going. I do not know if she does not respond to my prayers because she is so preoccupied with protecting my husband, or if there is an entirely different reason for her absence all together. Either way, it disturbs me deeply. She has never failed to present herself to me in some form upon my arrival at the temple. The fact that I have gone there for eight days without so much as a whisper of words troubles me to the point of illness.
And so, I am left with no choice but to continue to sit and wait.....
Wait in such a horrific state of rising panic as with each new dawn, I am left feeling more confused and worried than the day before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is the ninth day. I have just awoken to the brilliant Medinian sunrise with a gentle morning breeze flowing in through our room. Liv lies peacefully at my side, sleeping away in her own little world of perfection. As I roll over to face her beautiful figure, I cannot help but think.... I thank the gods that she is far too young to be able to recall any of this. Of her father's absence. Of my suffocating grief.
I quietly rise out of bed, making extra sure to move gently so as not to disturb her slumber. I tip toe to my bathing chambers, only to find that my dearest Branye has already run my bath water and layed out a dress over my bathroom vanity.
I swiftly bathe, hurrying to clean myself. I would love to sit and relax for a time, relishing in the liquid's soothing offering. But being in the tub without him here is too painful to bare for long. So I make haste in washing. I quickly rinse the soap from my body before stepping out to dry off. I twist my damp hair back into an oversized bun whilst dressing. Then, once my gown is put on, I let my long locks fall back down so as to allow for them to air dry.
I apply minimal make up before finally deciding to just style my hair with a single braided ponytail. I have not the patience nor the motive to do anything more immaculate. As I stare at my image in the mirror, I can see nothing but pain and despair written over my entire figure. I do not look ill, but I definitely have looked better. My eyes are slightly sunken in, my skin is paler than normal. I am not the glowing Queen that I was only nine days before. I am darkened, laden with smothering worry. It is completely written all over my very being. But I cannot find it within myself to care, for I will never be sorry for worrying over my beloved King.....My God of Mischief.....
After one final glance in the mirror, I turn and quietly return back out into our bedroom. But I halt upon finding Branye standing by the fire, waiting for me. She turns immediately upon sensing my presence, motioning without speaking for me to sit at my vanity. I do not hesitate as I obey her silent command. By the look on her face, I can tell quite plainly that she is displeased with my hairdo.
I sit without even bothering to look at myself in the enormous mirror. Then, I feel her nimble hands begin to undo my braid just after her nearing footsteps approach me.
We remain in complete silence as she works, willing my hair to straighten and eventually lay in soft curls down over my shoulders. I sit completely motionless until she is finished. Then, she softly taps me on my shoulders, willing me to stand. As I do, her eyes find mine. And I am shocked to find that hers are brimming with unfallen tears. This immediately latches onto my heart. I am forced to look away from her, for I cannot bare her pain on top of my own.
She reaches for me, wrapping her loving arms around my torso. And as I cling to her, she whispers in my ear that all will turn out alright. I want so very badly to believe her, but I cannot will myself to do so. Not until my darling husband is safely standing at my side once again.
She releases me before turning and heading for the bathing chambers, no doubt in aims to tidy up after my bath. I take this opportunity to saunter out onto my balcony, where I am met by the thriving sunlight.
I make my way to the railing before peering down over its edge. I close my eyes, allowing for the subtle heat to soak into my skin. It feels truly marvelous. I stand like this for a good while, basking in the comforts of the late summer sun. But then, my peaceful moment is suddenly disrupted as a muted boom echoes out across the painted, morning sky.
My eyes fly open only to find that the clouds just above where the temple rests are billowing with the familiar pink glow of my angelic mother. My heart drops into my stomach. My breathing ceases entirely....Loki! He is coming home! The war must be over!
I turn on my heel before practically crashing in through my balcony doors. Branye is already standing close by, no doubt from hearing the rumbling thunder sound.
"They are back!" I shout in a whisper, attempting to keep my quaking voice at bay. Her face lights up in a smile as she nods to me.
"Watch over Liv, will you? I'm going to the temple!"
She nods to me once again as her motherly smile spreads all the more.
I scurry to my doors, trying with all of my might to remain as quiet as possible. But once I am out in the hallway and in the clear of not awakening Liv, I break into an all out sprint whilst holding my gown up from off of the floor.
I run like mad in the direction of my brother and Kendha's chambers. As soon as I approach them, she is already opening the doors.
"Kendha! They're back!"
Her beaming smile splits as she shuts the doors behind her.
"Come on! We must go to the temple!" I am practically shouting as I grab her hand, pulling her along with me. We run like two silly girls, legs carrying us crazily in the direction of the main entrance of the palace. But once we emerge out into the open air, I grab her arm and force it to wrap around my waist.
"Hold on tight, Kendha. We are going for a ride!" Her eyes widen as she ponders my statement, but I do not take the time to explain. I wrap my arms around her body before willing my wings to open wide, relishing in their mighty strength. Then, in a split second, we are lifted up into the air and soaring in the direction of the temple. All the while, we are both squealing with delightful laughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We land just in front of the temple's majestic doors easily before almost breaking them away from their hinges in passing through. I cling to her hand as we run towards the altar. And upon reaching it, I look up towards the stained glass window only to find that my Mother's pink light is rioting in all of its heavenly splendor. I hear Kendha gasp at my side as we stand and witness the mighty illumination of the glowing's strength. Loki! Oh how I cannot wait to see you again! To hold you! To tell you that I love you!
Suddenly, a powerful gust of wind envelopes us before I feel the weight of nearing bodies presenting themselves through the glass. I barely squint my eyes from the rising brightness of her astounding light, but I am able to see the outlines of several soldiers shooting down from the sky. Their feet land with hard thuds against the stone floor, echoing out across the room. My heart is pounding so loudly within my chest, I daresay that all of Medina might be able to hear it. I remain in holding tightly to my sister's hand as we watch in awe. All of the warriors are summoned down to the ground in front of us, baring their armor and weapons so proudly. They look very worn and in need of rest, but none look severely injured.
But as more and more men are sent forth, the sudden rising panic within me begins peaking as I wonder where my husband is it. Surely by now, he would be entering through the portal.
I attempt to remain calm as I finally see Merek, Brom, and Zane land just in front of us. I smile widely at them, but as their eyes meet mine, they immediately hang their heads. What......why are they acting this way? Are they not overjoyed to be home? And where is Xavier?
Then, another flashing beam of light streaks through the enormous room before I see the familiar faces of Thor, Daegan, and finally, my brother. They make contact with the floor in perfect synchronization. But...no Loki....
I stand, completely frozen whilst still clinging to Kendha's hand. She does not even release me to run for her husband, as I sense that she too detects that something is very wrong. I watch as my brother comes forward alongside Thor and Daegan. They move slowly, dirty, battle weary, and fatigued. I count their steps as they approach, feeling the dread of my fears rising all the more. For with each step they take, their tortured expressions only deepen. Oh gods......No......
Finally, the three of them come to a halt just a few inches before my feet. I take in a deep breath, attempting so very tryingly to square my shoulders in my Queenly state. I am rendered all the more speechless as they all kneel down in front of me for a brief moment. Then, it is Daegan who returns to his feet. I observe his every move most carefully as he cautiously takes a single step towards me. Then, I watch as he reaches beneath his cloak before pulling out a shiny piece of impeccable metal. Its shimmering face is encrusted with blood and grime, shouting death and battle cries as he brings it out to hold in front of his body.
Oh....oh my.......gods.......
The sword.....
Loki's........Loki's sword............
"My Queen," he strangles out. I am completely dumbstruck. I cannot move a single inch as I watch him move forward before kneeling down just in front of my feet. He holds the blade out to me whilst bowing his head towards the ground.
"I....I present to you the sword of our most courageous King, Loki Laufeyson. He....."
No.....No..................
Don't say it.............
"He was killed in battle, Your Majesty."
My entire world stops spinning. Stars begin blazing down from the heavens, setting my soul on the most treacherous fire. My heart is not only no longer beating, it has been completely ripped from within the confinements of my chest. But not before it has been sliced in two, beaten with a mallet, and ground up to tiny particles of dust.
I do not believe it.....I absolutely refuse to believe it!
He cannot be........He cannot be.....dead!
"I am so sorry, Christine.....I truly am....." His voice barely registers within my spiraling mind. I see nothing in front of me but the image of my King's burning eyes.
No.....Loki......No.......................
You cannot leave me........You cannot leave me here.............alone.............................
I feel Kendha's hand urging for me to reach forward and take the sword. But I hesitate. If I accept this weapon, then it will truly be his end. It will mean that I have embraced his death.
I refuse to accept this! It cannot be true! It can't be! He cannot be dead! He promised that nothing would ever come in between us ever again! That we would always be together! Always!
A slight whimper escapes from between my lips as I continue to stand frozen, staring down at the bowing General's figure. He lifts his head up to me, and I am stunned to find that tears are cascading down his olive cheeks. He is crying.....
My eyes move from his face back down to the weapon. I take in the sight of the crusted blood, the weary wear of its war-laden physique. It has slain many, but its owner is no longer here to uphold its form.
Something clicks inside of me as I finally register that this is really happening. This godforsaken nightmare is real......
This is real.....
"Christine?" Kendha's voice barely breaks through my teetering restraint. But as I peer down at the bloodied weapon before me, I no longer see clearly. I see nothing....
Nothing but emptiness........
I suddenly lose my composure. My grasp breaks away from its teetering hold. I can withhold my anguish no longer as I rear my head back and scream out into the air. I yank my hand away from Kendha, no longer being able to withstand any intimate contact whatsoever. I feel my wings spasm most dastardly as my inner torture comes boiling over the surface of my being. As it does, I allow for my suffocating grief to engulf me. Then, I feel my energy rising at such a rapid pace that I almost feel lightheaded beneath its otherworldly movement. It scorches my every vein, flying through my entire form before igniting in a most hel bent frenzy.
I barely notice that the tumultuous wrath of my pain causes for blasts of untameable energy to shoot out from my chest. Roars of wind riot around me as my internal flames burst forward involuntarily from my palms and out across the room. I can faintly hear frightened shouting, but I cannot find it within myself to stop.
I scream out in utter and indescribable agony, thus allowing for my fire to spread all the more. As my tear filled eyes barely open, I see that each and every curtain has been ignited in bright blue flames. All of the men have been blown to their backs beneath my divine power as my strengthened force shoves them to the ground.
"CHRISTINE!"
I am screaming so loudly that I barely hear his voice.
"CHRISTINE, STOP!"
WHY?! I AM DEAD NOW! MY HEART HAS BEEN RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST! I AM NO LONGER ALIVE!
"STOP, CHRISTINE! YOU'LL KILL US ALL!"
I am on the point of losing all manners of sanity, despite his pleading cries. NO! I WILL NOT STOP! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT HIM!
Then, my very breath is stolen from my lungs as an extremely powerful set of hands grab my arms. My head flies down. My fire-filled vision focuses in, only to find that he is standing but an inch from my face. The familiar, deep, suede brown of his eyes sear into my own.
Daegan.....
"CHRISTINE! LOOK AT ME!"
I am gasping so very desperately for air. My energy immediately plummets. My knees buckle, thus sending for me to fall forward into his chest. He catches me before wrapping his arms around my waist, holding me up.
"Christine.....look at me, please...." But I cannot will myself to obey, for the weight of my grief is too much to bare. Then, I feel a hand suddenly grasp my face before forcefully lifting it up to meet with his. His eyes are laced with tears and heart-stabbing sorrow as he stares down at me. This only sends for more confirmation that my King is......
I cannot bring myself to admit it.......
"Christine....."
I stare up into his tortured eyes, feeling my own flooding with enormous tears all the more.
"Daegan, please....."
His eyes narrow from my straining whispers.
"Tell me that it isn't true. He isn't dead....please....say that he is not dead......"
His eyes fall only just before his grasp on my face tightens. His arm around my waist pulls me in tighter as he offers me better support to stand. Then, I watch as another single tear flows down his cheek before dripping from his quivering chin.
"I.....I am so sorry, Christine. He is.....gone."
A wretched whimper emits from between my lips from his words. I fall into him as my knees finally give out completely. I cry out into his chest, taking fistfuls of his tunic.
NO! NO! NO!
Loki......no.........
Please...............how can I go on?!
I cannot survive without you........
We were supposed to be together! We were supposed to live happily, sharing thousands of years with one another!
We were supposed to remain as one........always......
And now....I am left here....feeling more like the lonely, lost Princess from your fairytale. Sailing out to sea without the slightest hope of finding happiness ever again....
I will be lost forever....
Without your loving light to sustain me, I will truly become an angel of darkness....
*And.....that is the conclusion of this book! I hope that you enjoyed it! Sorry for the horribly painful ending. But I promise that the fourth book might possibly bring some slight relief! And MANY MANY MANY more surprises that you are NOT expecting!
*The fourth book is already under way, and the first chapter will be available very soon! I do so hope that you enjoy it just as much as you have the others! It will, for certain, be the final book in my Darkness Series. I would love to ask each and everyone who has read up to this point to leave a comment in regards to what you think will happen next....predictions, thoughts, feelings, etc.
*Thank you to all of my incredible, fascinating readers. I must reiterate once more that you are my complete inspiration. Without you, I am truly nothing! Much Loki Love to all, and God bless!