Darkness Vanquished (A Loki Love Story) Book 3 in Darkness Series

"What is Wrong With Me?"

(Her point of view)

"Loki, where are you?" I call out through the frigid, night air. I get no response.

"Loki!"

Still no response. I begin walking at a heightened pace, attempting to stifle my rising panic. I do not know why he cannot hear me or why he is not responding to my call. Where could he be?

I can barely see anything but a few feet in front of my face. Thankfully enough, I can at least make out that I am somewhere in the castle. The northern halls from the faint looks of it. I begin jogging, desperately seeking to find my Love. My anxiety only rises with each step I take. I call out his name over and over, pleading for him to answer. But I still get nothing.

Eventually, I am able to make out that I am standing just at the entrance of the study's doors. They are barely cracked open, allowing a dim light from what looks to be a fire to poke through and out into the hallway. I can hear voices coming from behind them. Shushed voices, and....heavy breathing?

I slow my pace, feeling overcome with curiosity and a strange sensation of peaked alertness. Almost as if my subconscious is detecting a flicker of a threat nearby. I whisper his name, praying that he will find me before I go to inspect what could be causing such dreadful feelings to my mind. But once again, I am left without a reply from him.

I hold my breath, finally reaching the doors. I press myself against them, listening as the breathing becomes louder and more labored. Judging by what I am able to make out, there are...maybe two people inside. And from the sound of it, they are sharing quite the heated moment.

A sudden, terrifying explosion of fear erupts within my chest. I do not know how or why, but I instantly get the feeling that I am not going to like what I find just behind these doors. I almost want to turn and run as far away from this place as possible, but my feet have somehow forgotten how to function properly. I lean my ear further in to the wood, straining to hear if I can recognize the faint whispers that are being spoken.

As I do, I gasp loudly before covering my mouth with both of my hands. My heart plummets down into the pit of my stomach, shattering into a million, tiny pieces. I am frozen, horror and grief-stricken. For as I stand here, choking back suffocating tears, I can now quite clearly hear the voice of my husband, whispering seductive words to another woman.

I know that I should not do it, but I feel as if I have no choice. I risk peaking my head through the minimal crack of the slightly ajar doors. And upon doing so, my nightmarish suspicions are confirmed. There, pinned up against the far wall just within my line of sight is Zena. Her eyes are closed, her head tilted to one side as she moans in pleasure from the sloppy kisses that he is trailing up and down her neck. His raven black hair is hanging down over his bare back as her fingers claw through it. I can hear him groaning as he bucks into her hips.

I gasp once again into the now sweating skin of my palm. I can feel tears of the worst pain and betrayal already pouring down my face. I want to charge through these doors and kill her, but my suffering has left me rendered helpless to do nothing but watch. Stand here and watch as my husband makes love to another woman...

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I fly up into a sitting position, screaming at the top of my lungs,  tears streaming down my face. What in the bloody hel was that all about?! Why did I dream of such a horrific thing? Gods! That was awful!

I shudder from the terribly vivid memories of my nightmare, fighting like hel to push them to the back of my mind. I am completely drenched in a cold sweat, shivering uncontrollably, but it is not cold in my room. In fact, it is a tad bit too warm.

I reach for my forehead, groaning in frustration upon discovering that my fever has returned. My scorching brow feels sticky beneath my trembling fingertips. I sling the covers up and away from my legs before swinging them over the edge of my bed. I go to stand, but as I do, my head feels as if someone has just filled it with air. Almost as if it is going to detach itself from my body at any moment and float up into the snow-filled clouds above. What in the hel is going on?

I remain sitting on the side of my bed, closing my eyes as I take in some good, deep breaths. With each inhale, my fever only seems to be rising. My stomach is tied up in horrible knots, twisting and turning in the most uncomfortable of ways. I suddenly feel as though I need to vomit, but I am still so dizzy that I am afraid to run to my bathing chambers. I put a hand over my mouth, attempting to talk myself out of this feeling, but sadly, it is useless, as my nausea is dreadfully accompanied by the same jittery feeling from before. My entire body seems to be writhing around within itself. I feel as though insects are crawling up and down my legs and arms, squirming and contorting against my hot skin. My heart is racing unbelievably fast. I can feel its thunderous pounding pulsing away in my temples. I cannot tell if it is from whatever is wrong with me or from the fear of not knowing what is causing any of this. Something is wrong. Something is wrong with me. But what? What could it be? I have never felt like this before in all my life.....am I dying from some rare disease?

My heart skips a beat. Perhaps I have the same illness that killed Loki's mother! Oh gods, please do not tell me that I have contracted such a gruesome sickness!

I swallow, feeling a foreign lump in my throat. No, Christine. Do not jump to conclusions. You probably just have that virus that has been going around the castle. Nothing more.

As I swallow yet again, I know that I can hold back no longer. I finally give up on my attempts to walk, using my wings instead to get me to the bathing chambers. I allow them to dart me forward, thankfully making it to the toilet in just the knick of time. As soon as I am on my knees just in front of it, I vomit.

I stay in this same position for I do not know how long. I cannot stop regurgitating. Eventually, however, I am finally so emptied that all I can do is summon dry heaves, but the need to keep vomiting is still there. I gag over and over, wrenching from the merciless, shooting spasms within my stomach muscles. What is wrong with me?!

After what feels like forever, my body finally begins to feel as though it is returning to normal once again. My fever seems to be declining just a bit. My head is no longer spinning as much nor do my insides feel all jumbled and out of sorts. Maybe I just needed to rid my body of whatever bacteria was residing within it. Perhaps now, I can forget these stupid spells.

I go to stand once more but am knocked back down to my knees as my head begins spinning wildly all the more. Damn it to hel! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I reach for the counter and pull myself up to my bare feet. My night gown clings to my still drenched body as my cold sweat remains dominantly present. I must find Loki. I must find him and tell him what is happening. But he has not returned yet. He is probably still down at the Tavern, three sheets to the wind by now. He will be of no help to me in that state. Perhaps I should wake Branye. She could help me for certain.

I slowly attempt to stand up straight, focusing on the task at hand. I have to get help...

I take a few small steps at a time, holding onto whatever I can for support. Eventually, I make it to my closet, where I reach in and manage to grab a floor length, silken night robe. I tie it securely around my waist, allowing my wings to easily slide through the slits that Branye has altered into its fabric for them. I attempt to wipe some of the stray hairs away from around my face as they are clinging to the beads of sweat still forming upon my skin. I finally give up, using a tie to pull it back into a loose ponytail. At least now, it will not be able to stick to my face as much.

I have a mind to use my wings again, but as I go to begin flapping them, it somehow oddly sends for my head to spin all the more. This immediately causes for my panic to rise. What sort of illness is so severe that it can even affect my most precious wings?!

I want to run, to get help as soon as possible, but I know that it would not be smart at all. I would be taking a serious risk of hurting myself badly. So I am forced to move at a death-like pace down the long hallway, hugging myself to the wall as I creep towards the tower's stairs. I must get to Branye. Her room is only in the east wing. Not too far from me. I can make it. Surely, I can make it.