Is this the fifth one? I think so.
Anyway enjoy this stupid shit.
Lockheart: Take into your F*CKING ARMS!
~~~~~~~~
Cupid: Hey what are you doing?
Coby: I don't know bro, I'm just f*ckin' tossing bikes in the river!
~~~~~~
Romeo: Y/n! Y/n! Y/n! I want you to f*ck me y/n! F*CK ME!
~~~~~~~~
Cyrus: Why are you painting the front door blue?
Mari: Because blue is f*cking tight!
Cyrus: Oh.
~~~~~~~
(Human au)
Asher: Damn, I need to shave, hey man do you have any shaving cream?
Coby: No, I don't like the way it tastes.
Asher: What? You eat shaving cream?
Coby: No! Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?
~~~~~~~~
Flurry: Hey Igniter I just wanted you to know that you're my hero and I love you!
Igniter: Yeah well you're just a kid so your opinion is irrelevant, and I don't give a shit.
~~~~~~~~~
Coby: So what do you do for a living?
Romeo: I'm an artist.
Coby: Really? Oh what kind?
Romeo: A sandwhich artist.
Coby: ....Like subway?
Romeo: Look, are we gonna f*ck or what?
~~~~~~~~~
Creator: So what were you doing from 2011 until 2014?
Igniter: Well, I thought I was a lava lamp so... Nothing?
~~~~~~~~
Lockheart: Good morning students today were going to.. You know what f*ck it, go on twitter or finger paint I don't give a shit.
~~~~~~~
Cupid: Hey dad can we get ice cream.
Val: Sorry buddy we can't.
Cupid: Okay fine. I guess I'll tell mom you're cheating on her.
Val:..... Ice cream sounds good, let's go!
~~~~~~~
Cupid: I'll be right back!
Hallow: Okay.
Lockheart: Hey you. Yeah you, you break his heart, I'll cut your d*ck off.
Cupid: I'm back!
Hallow: *panicked screaming*
~~~~~~~
Lockheart: Hey I'm hungry do you wanna get taco bell-
Coby: Jinx! You owe me a kiss on the lips.
Lockheart: .... *panicked screaming*
Coby: You're not going anywhere Locky.
~~~~~~~
Romeo: *spills drink* Aw crap, sorry mom that was an accident.
Creator: That's funny, I had an accident twenty years ago.
Romeo: 0_0
~~~~~~~
Pumpkin: Mommy I think there's a monster under my bed.
Cupid: Baby, enjoy it while it lasts, cuz once you get married the monster will be sleeping next to you.
~~~~~~~
Carver: D- D- D-
Hallow: C.c! Get in here I think he's about to say his first word!
Cupid: Oh my god! I've been waiting for this!
Carver: you're not the daddy.
Hallow: ......
Cupid: um.. I'm gonna be late for work! Bye!
~~~~~~~~
Asher: Okay sir do you know why I pulled you over?
Amour: Its fine no its fine.
Asher: No, you ran over three kids.
Amour: no! I said its fine, give me my ticket.
~~~~~~~~
Mari: Hey Cyrus! How's it like up there?
Cyrus: I've seen so much death.
Mari: 0_0
~~~~~~~~
Octavian: Al I can't find Bryce.
Alistair: Oh Octi, I think he ran away.
Octavian: ....Hes a fish..
~~~~~~~~~
(Human au)
Cupid: You should have a guy mess up your lipstick, not your mascara.
Romeo: Mess up my lipstick and people will watch your body getting scooped out of a river on the news!
~~~~~~~
Mari: If you're happy an you know it-
Jasper: I've never been happy....
Mari: Do you need a hug?
~~~~~~~~~
Cupid: Happy Valentine's day!
Lockheart: Happy valen- Shut the f*ck up who the f*ck told you go in my room!?
~~~~~~~
Gael: Someone dropped an ice cub on the floor, now my sock is wet.. Who the f*ck want to die!?
~~~~~~~~
Lockheart: I keep seeing people on Snapchat saying its national sex day, the only thing I'm f*cking is stupid and the only thing f*cking me is life soo..
~~~~~~~~
Coby: So if people don't have feet do they wear shoes?
Creator: No.
Coby: Okay, so why do you wear a bra?
Creator: -_-
~~~~~~~
Lockheart: Welcome to McDonald's, do you want a mother f*cking large fry up your asshole before I bitch slap you with a big Mac!?
Asher: I just wanted chicken nuggets...
~~~~~~~~
Mari: I know a trick to make it look like you've got abs in every photo! Put your left foot like this, open the door and go to the gym you fat shit.
Chris: -_-
~~~~~~~
(Human au)
Chris: For everyone bashing me for having a glitter beard, I'm at that age where I can f*ck your girlfriend or your mom. Merry Christmas!
~~~~~~~~
Cupid: Hey don't tell Chris, but were eating Thanksgiving dinner off of Christmas plates.
Gael: Hey Chris, were eating Thanksgiving dinner off of Christmas plates?
Chris: F*CK!
~~~~~~~~
Gael: We're all put of chicken sandwiches.
Coby: Heh, do you have any chicken sandwiches?
Gael: Sir, you're a dumbass.
~~~~~~~~
Hope you enjoyed this dumb shit!
I got bored!
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/231418489-288-k575246.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
Outcast oneshots #2
RandomHello everyone! Can you believe my idiots got a second book? Anyway, these are one shots of all of the chaotic characters that belong to me. Including some new boi's. :3 Updates are random as always, I only update once I get inspiration.